To make holidays with your kids count, you need mapping, follow-through and a heartfelt desire to make your presence the present.

“We’re all guilty of multitasking or half-listening,” says Paula Statman, founder and president of the Kidwise Institute in Oakland, Calif., and author of “Raising Careful, Competent Kids in a Crazy World” (Piccolo, $12). “But when it really matters, you have to listen and put things down.”

• Prepare. It takes time to get kids out the door — longer than you think. So ready everything you’ll need while the kids sleep: Pack those diaper bags. Lay out those clothes and coats. Put keys, wallet and cell phone within easy reach.

• Pace. When blocking out the day, keep in mind your kids’ “up” and “down” times (and yours, too). “If you have kids who melt down at 4 or 5 o’clock, don’t take them into a theater or busy store,” Statman says.

• Pause for play. It’s frustrating when you’ve planned a special stop for your kids — the museum, perhaps — to find they won’t stop running around at the tot lot. Yet if they’re having fun, why yank them away to enforce a rigid timetable?

• Plan transitions. Children of any age often have trouble recognizing when they’re overtired or ready for a break. Ease them out of beloved activities gradually, advises Statman: “Of course, their answer to that will often be no, but in your wisdom you know the kids have had enough.”