Dear Dr. Wes & Kelly: Christmas is coming up. This is my favorite holiday, but I don’t think it’s my dad’s. When this time of year comes around he seems to always be in a bad mood. My dad has always been like this around Christmas, and now that it’s my last Christmas at home, I would like it to be memorable in the good way.

Kelly: ‘Tis the season to be jolly. However, some may act more like the Grinch around this time of year. While many of us cherish the precious moments the holidays have to offer, there are those among us with a sourpuss attitude.

This may not be your dad’s favorite holiday; however, you shouldn’t let that stop you from enjoying it. Yes, I can understand your father’s bad mood may dampen your spirits. But don’t let him steal your joy. This is your celebration as well, and you should make the best of it. You are entitled to be happy. I know you would like to share your holiday cheer and make things enjoyable for everyone. But remember, it’s nearly impossible to make everyone happy.

Have you talked to your father? Have you asked him why he is in a bad mood? I don’t know what the communication level is like between you and your dad, but I can infer that there’s a lack of it. I suggest you should first talk to some of the family members about your concern. Have they experienced or are aware of the same issues?

Second, I would suggest you and the other family member(s) sit down with your dad and explain your views. Let him know that you are concerned and only trying to help. Talk to him about how it is your last Christmas before you leave and you want to make it special. If your dad becomes too sensitive in this environment, use your family member as a mediator.

The only other solution I see is for you to try your best to ignore his grouchy mood. You say he always acts this way around the holiday season. If it’s something you feel is just part of him, I would say don’t let it bother you or keep you from having a good holiday.

Wes: I agree with Kelly that people’s attitudes toward Christmas can often be categorized in comparison to one of the many characters that pop up each holiday season. However, I’m not sure your dad is simply Grinchy. That implies that he is so down on Christmas that he wants to take it away from you, too — and nothing in your letter suggests that. He may instead be like Lucy in Charlie Brown’s Christmas, convinced that Christmas is run by a “Big Eastern Syndicate.” While that may seem cynical, it’s hard not to be grumpy when Christmas shoppers literally trample over others to pursue the spirit of giving.

Perhaps he’s like George Bailey in “It’s a Wonderful Life.” He’s lost his hopefulness, and Christmas only reminds him of something unhappy that you’re not aware of. We forget that even Ebenezer Scrooge turned out as a sympathetic character in the end — once we understood how he’d lost the spirit and meaning of Christmas.

Kelly is correct on another point. You two need to sit down and have a nice talk about this. If you can’t share with your father the heartfelt desire to experience a time of love and peace in your last holiday at home, it’s going to be much harder to talk about the difficult issues everyone faces in leaving home and going to college or work next year.

It’s probably not best to start that conversation with questions about why he reminds you of Lucy, Scrooge and the Grinch. Instead let him know how much you’ll miss the simplicity of high school and home life next year, and how much you want to share that with him now. Deep down most dads have a soft spot for a daughter who reaches out to connect. Of course, if your next sentence involves him purchasing an iPod, the mood will be quickly ruined. But if you’re sincere in your desire for a genuine family Christmas, I think he’ll pick up a little of your holiday spirit — and that may be all it takes.

Next week: Another family of a senior struggles with their daughter leaving home.

— Dr. Wes Crenshaw is a board-certified family psychologist and director of the Family Therapy Institute Midwest. Kelly Kelin is a senior at Free State High School. Opinions and advice given here are not meant as a substitute for psychological evaluation or therapy services. Send your questions about adolescent issues (limited to 200 words) to doubletake@ljworld.com. All correspondence is strictly confidential.