Houston ? He’s told the story all week.

Memphis’ John Calipari, you soon learn, is the Wilt Chamberlain of the recycled anecdote, retelling locker-room tales and random coach-player lessons in a tapestry of basketball profundity.

To hear Calipari eloquently describe it, this hasn’t been a basketball season in Memphis so much as an HBO pilot.

Anyway, the Derrick Rose story, as told Sunday by Calipari in the wake of thrashing Texas 85-67 to advance to the NCAA Final Four:

Calipari saw an article in USA Today and gave it to Rose, his all-world freshman point guard.

“I told him to look at this article, because this is who I believe he can be – physically and skill-wise,” Calipari said.

The subject of the newspaper story was Tiger Woods.

“He’s got to improve,” Calipari conceded. “He’s got to get on the range a little bit and get that stroke right. But he also has the mental capacity and mental toughness and the intelligence to be unique and special. And it sets him apart.”

Of course, there is only one Tiger Woods – so far.

But Calipari is that corny, at times, and Rose on Sunday was, indeed, a Tiger … in more ways than one.

Rose finished with 21 points, six rebounds and nine assists. But he was the heart and soul, the hustle and focus, that kept Memphis resolutely on its championship path.

The Tigers are 37-1, and – bad news, America – they’re now even making free throws.

There used to be a Calipari story about that, too.

The Tigers historically have been so bad at making their free throws that Calipari once ordered the team to stop shooting them in practice. Instead, he wanted the players to (visualize) making free throws before they go to sleep each night.

“We shot about 80 percent,” Calipari joked.

The story these days on Memphis’ free-throw shooting, however, is that there is no story.

In silencing the Longhorns, Memphis hit 30 of its 36 free throws.

Don’t be surprised by his Memphis team, though, Calipari said. Instead, be appreciative.

“We’re a pretty good team,” Calipari said. “I just keep saying it, but I believe in these guys. I trust them.

“We played a pretty good defensive team, and we had seven turnovers, folks. And we’re playing fast. It’s ‘Princeton on steroids.’ There are reads. You have to be able to think to do the things we do.”

That’s another Calipari sub-theme – defending the aptitude of his Dribble Drive Motion Offense. An un-offense to some observers, but Texas never could figure it out.

When the Longhorns tried to play zone, Rose or Chris Douglas-Roberts dumped the ball deep into the free-throw lane, where Joey Dorsey or Shawn Taggart would usually turn and hit a semi-uncontested short jumper. If the first or second slash to the basket didn’t work, Calipari said, he urged his team to look for the third or fourth.

“If you had never played against this offense, you think you can switch and sag,” the coach said. “But when you get to the third drive, someone is breaking down.”

The Tigers seem so comfortable with their offense, so confident of everything they do, that they blew past a good Michigan State team with ease Friday and then, with an estimated 25,000 of the 32,798 fans Sunday cheering for the Longhorns, they routed the Big 12 co-champs.

“I’m not sure if we’ll get the respect we deserve,” Douglas-Roberts said. “But if we don’t, it doesn’t matter. There are four teams left now.”