Chicago ? The Bears started the season with a quarterback accused of acting too stupid. They now have a quarterback accused of trying to act too smart.

Is there anybody of average intelligence out there who can make all the throws?

Of all the overanalyzed Brian Griese statements since Sunday’s victory – and stay tuned for Griese calling a news conference Wednesday to credit equipment manager Tony Medlin for good footing on the final drive – only one comment really could affect this season.

It almost got lost in the silly debate over who mouthed in the plays or called the winning touchdown and, like all conspiracy theories, it ultimately detracted from the best Bears offensive drive anybody in Chicago could remember.

“It’s something I’ve done in the past, in certain situations,” Griese said of the idea of calling his own plays. “It’s something I’m comfortable doing. It hasn’t been a big part of the offense here, but I’d be willing to explore it more if they wanted to.”

No need for the Bears to convene an exploratory committee to conclude they don’t want any part of that.

A Bears quarterback calling his own plays? Read my lips: Bad idea.

Like the lawyer who defends himself having a fool for a client, the NFL quarterback who calls his own plays has an ineffective offensive coordinator.

It’s not like Carlos Zambrano shaking off his catcher’s sign for a curveball because he wants to bring the heat or Ben Gordon improvising away from a set play because he “feels it.”

A football play tends to be less a product of instinct than research, and NFL teams invest millions of dollars in technology and staff in search of ways to devise the perfect game plan.

A football play might have been set up two quarters or three series earlier and designed one week or month before it’s actually called or used. A football play calls for one player to succeed but requires all 11 to perform meticulously thought-out assignments.

Teams typically run 1,000 offensive plays every NFL season. They take each one too seriously to turn over the playbook to someone who gets hit in the head so often.

Two straight impromptu, impressive finishes to games do not make Griese Peyton Manning, the only NFL quarterback empowered to call his own plays.

Asking Griese to do Rex Grossman’s job is one thing. Asking him to do Ron Turner’s too is asking for trouble.