Philadelphia Past the Bud Light can on the lawn, four empty Coors kegs in the entryway, and, in the hall, the box for a Little Whizzer statuette that "pours" liquor, there was a den of filth.
Eight fraternity brothers from the University of Pennsylvania share this West Philadelphia house, a pig sty tolerable only to undiscerning students and collegiate revelers trawling for free alcohol.
With more partying expected in a few days, the men of Sigma Alpha Epsilon had to get the place in shape. But mopping, scrubbing and vacuuming take so ... much ... time.
So, they called DormAid, which dispatched a cleaner bearing buckets and brooms the next day.
"It's really worth it. College students are so lazy," Nick Daley, 20, a burly finance-and-accounting major from Cincinnati, said with admirable self-knowledge.
Thankfully, a new array of services - there's also DormMom, CollegeBellhop and Soapy Joe's - has cropped up recently nationwide to cater to able-bodied kids who can't seem to maintain minimum standards of sanitation.
In addition to cleaning dorm rooms and off-campus residences, some wash and fold laundry, drop off cases of water, even arrange for groceries to be delivered.
"We help kids stay organized and focused on studies instead of trying to find space in the laundry room," said Mike Kopko, who cofounded DormAid two years ago while at Harvard University.
Scrubbing toilets isn't in the game plan for these coddled customers, who intend to go through life never picking up a can of Comet.
And who's footing the bill? Mom and Dad, of course.
"Parents want to make sure their baby is taken care of," said Kopko, whose "concierge" company does work at 40 schools.
Emmanuel Oche, a Nigerian immigrant with a Michigan Tech degree in electric engineering, started DormMom in June 2006. Most of his business, he said, comes from parents.
His mother was a clean freak who passed on her tidiness habit, said Oche, who lives in Buffalo, N.Y. But as a resident assistant, he saw how disgusting students could be.
"Even though the laundry room is down the hall, a lot of people do not do their laundry," he said.
DormMom started at the University of Buffalo and is now at 15 schools.
The services charge from $55 to $70 for housekeeping, depending on the frequency of visits. Laundry works out to about $20 per week, including pickup and delivery.
DormAid has about 15 regular cleaning customers at the University of Pennsylvania, but it gets lots of emergency requests - especially after really nasty shindigs.
"They call at 2 a.m. and say, 'We need assistance as soon as possible,'" said Kopko, who is working on his MBA at Columbia University.
The businesses have encountered wariness from some administrators uncomfortable with outsiders on campus. At Penn, a university spokeswoman said dorm cleaners follow the same rules as all guests: They must present a photo ID, be signed in by a student, and be accompanied while in the building.
After doing $150,000 in business his first year, Kopko decided he had found his calling. His parents "were shocked that they sent me to Harvard and I came back wanting to clean toilets and underwear," he said.