Confidence can help overcome discrimination

Q: I have a friend who is about 300 pounds overweight. He has an OK resume, but he never gets a callback once a prospective employer sees him. He’s looking into gastric bypass surgery, but what can he do until then? Tough question for tough times. – Jeff

J.T.: I’m glad he’s investigating ways to bring his health under control. That should be his first priority. Work means nothing if we can’t be healthy and happy in life, right? I consult with a lot of people who wrongly assume that if they had a good job, they’d be able to take better care of themselves. That’s just not the case. We need to get a handle on our health so that we can deal with the ups and downs of work.

Dale: It’s no surprise that your friend is encountering fierce discrimination. Partly it’s our cultural shallowness – attractive people are paid more than unattractive ones. But there’s also a legitimate business issue: A recent Duke study found that obese people filed twice as many workers compensation claims and missed substantially more days of work. But here’s the only fact that matters for your friend’s job search: He needs to do what everyone faced with discrimination needs to do, which is to get past all the people who won’t hire him to get to those who will. If the average job searcher needs to meet with five hiring managers, your friend might need 20 or 50. It sounds disheartening, but the good news is that there are enlightened bosses who understand that appearance and productivity are unrelated. In my search for great bosses, there are plenty who believe in “contrarian hiring.” They pick up employees that other managers ignore, knowing that you have to dig to find buried treasure. Your friend might just end up with a great boss for his trouble.

J.T.: At the same time, your friend should focus on what he is truly passionate about and how he can be seen a “go to” person in his profession. When we build our skills and become an expert, it allows us to sell our services more effectively to potential employers. Your friend needs to go on interviews expressing his passion and ability to get it done better than anyone else. I find that people who are heavier struggle with having this kind of confidence because they are convinced that the people they meet with are judging them harshly and won’t take them seriously. But I can tell you this from working with clients: If you learn to convey that assuredness with respect to your skills, it doesn’t matter what size you are.