Soldiers' gravestones line the Fort Riley cemetery. Between the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, 138 soldiers stationed at Fort Riley have died.

Chaplain Brent Causey, a Lieutenant Colonel of the U.S. Army, works with rear detachment officers to notify kin of soldiers who have been killed in combat. Causey stands in front of the Global War on Terrorism Monument at Fort Riley.

Capt. Trisha Meyer is a rear detachment commander at Fort Riley. Meyer's duties include delivering the message to families of fallen soldiers.

When Capt. Trisha Meyer was asked to return to Fort Riley to be a rear detachment commander, she begged to stay in Iraq.

But she ended up in Kansas, anyway, with duties that included delivering the message to families of fallen soldiers.

“Everyone always told me it was going to be the most difficult job I could ever do,” Meyer said. “It is an honor. There are a lot of emotions that go into it.”

For the casualty notification officers at Fort Riley, the mission starts with a phone call and doesn’t end until they knock on the door and tell the family that their loved one has died.

In between, there is the changing into the Army’s full dress greens, meetings to discuss the soldier and the family, driving to the home and rehearsing. A lot of rehearsing.

“When you are getting ready to go up to that door, it is almost like you are going to have to put yourself in a blackout. It is not your time to mourn, it is not your time to cry, it is your time to be strong for the family,” Meyer said.

After the knock, there is the verification that the Army has the right family, the request to come inside and then the officer – following a script – says the family member was killed in action.

Officers aren’t sure what to expect on the other side of the door – anger, extreme grief, shock, denial.

“It is definitely not an easy thing,” said Capt. Sean McCoy, who has performed one notification. “I was extremely nervous because you are getting ready to deliver news to a family member that will change their life, and that is not something you can take flippantly. It is something that is a very solemn detail.”

Since coming to Fort Riley 17 months ago, Chaplain Brent Causey has gone on all but two notification missions, for a total of more than 30. Fort Riley has lost 138 soldiers from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

“Someone needs to bring that strength and that comfort, and that is what we do as a notification team,” Causey said. “We are giving them the most horrific news they are ever going to have in their life, and we are going to be the (stabilizing) factor that helps them start the grieving process.”