Don’t follow the ‘Traveler’

In an interesting decision, ABC has moved up the premiere date of the summer replacement mystery series “Traveler” (9 p.m., ABC) by three weeks. Apparently, they want people to start ignoring it sooner.

Much like the short-lived “October Road,” this series is populated by more-handsome-than-average guys uttering dreadful dialogue. You know a show is in deep trouble when a major character begins quoting “On the Road” before the credits even roll.

The show and the Jack Kerouac blather begin as law-school graduate Jay (Matthew Bomer), business major Tyler (Logan Marshall-Green) and the aptly named Will Traveler (Aaron Stanford) embark on a post-graduate journey – one last grasp at serendipity before settling down to the grind.

They start in Manhattan, where Will dares Tyler and Jay to relive an old college prank – a roller-skating race through a crowded art museum. The whole thing seems like something suited to 12-year-olds. It’s hard not to hate these guys on sight.

After the race, Will doesn’t meet them at their appointed rendezvous. Traveler calls Tyler’s cell phone and utters a cryptic apology a split second before a bomb rocks the museum.

Suddenly, Tyler and Jay become wanted suspects connected to the apparent terrorist attack. How did authorities link them to the bombing so soon? Were they being set up by a conspiracy? Was Will involved? Was he killed in the blast? Why would he do this? And who was Will Traveler, after all?

Back in the old days, Alfred Hitchcock created a genre of thrillers featuring regular guys (Jimmy Stewart and Cary Grant, most notably) caught up in world-shattering intrigue. But regular guys are so mid-century. Tyler happens to be the son of one of America’s richest families. Jay’s father was a decorated officer killed under mysterious circumstances during Desert Storm. Their backgrounds and pedigrees become grist for the authorities and the media as the search begins.

It takes a lot for audiences to sympathize with characters under suspicion of terrorism and on the run from the FBI. For starters, they have to be interesting and likable. The idea that we want to go “On the Road,” or travel “North-by-Northwest” with these two, is too farfetched for me.

¢ Season finales just aren’t what they used to be. “Without a Trace” (9 p.m., CBS) won’t even end its season on Sunday. It’s been bumped back to its old spot by the three-hour “Survivor”-palooza. On tonight’s episode, Jack’s team searches for a teenager who fled a religious cult, and Elena faces the wrath of her vindictive husband.

¢ The season finale of “My Name is Earl” (7 p.m., NBC) coincides with the beginning of Joy’s trial. Look for a certain basic-cable superstar in the episode’s opening moments. Hint: It may take a bounty hunter to extradite the gum-smacking fugitive from Mexico.

Tonight’s other highlights

¢ A trip to Guadalajara on “Ugly Betty” (7 p.m., ABC).

¢ Michael’s mistake by the lake on “The Office” (7:30 p.m., NBC)