The time has come to speak of a national tragedy we can ignore no longer. Some truths must be spoken.

“24” stinks.

It has lurched from addictive to ridiculous; from must-see to constant cringe; from a nail-biter to pure farce. By the power of Jack Bauer, what the heck happened?

Seriously, it’s as if the writing staff of “Grey’s Anatomy” machined-gunned its way onto the Fox lot and took the show hostage. The best thriller on television, the 21st century’s own James Bond franchise, has become a soap opera.

OK, so “24” (8 p.m., Fox) has always had its share of melodrama. The first season pitted Jack’s wife and lover in a deadly duel. And who can forget Kim? But we could forgive all that (and the show’s many lapses in logic) because the thrills and spills never stopped coming. The fate of the world was always in the balance, and the clock was always ticking.

But this year – for reasons that can only be explained by a conspiracy dark and vast — the stakes shifted. We were asked to forget all about suitcase nukes and thousands of civilian casualties and to care about … Audrey.

This broke all the unwritten rules of thriller-dom. In a show like this, the stakes must always get higher, the threats ever greater. That’s what makes the stroke of midnight (or whenever) all the more rewarding. This season we saw Jack go from saving the world to saving his girlfriend, and we all said, “Huh?”

The choice between getting the girl or saving the day is not always mutually exclusive, but it’s asking a lot of the audience to care about both. As we all know, “Casablanca” presented a torrid love triangle set against the backdrop of World War II intrigue. Rick (Humphrey Bogart) summed up the situation beautifully when he declared, “It doesn’t take much to see that the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world.”

Absent World War III, this season of “24” has offered us a hill of beans.

Without earth-shattering consequence, we’re left with the petty squabbles of Chloe and Morris, the marital woes of Hayes and Buchanan and the mind-melting melodrama of the vice president and his blond vixen. Nadia (Marisol Nichols) said it best last week when she chastised Morris for dragging his melodrama into the office. But she’s one to talk. Wasn’t she locked in a deep smooch with Milo just a few weeks back?

What’s next? Will Chloe burst into song? One half expects an episode of “Ally McBeal” to break out any moment. Wait a minute, that’s what Peter MacNicol’s character has been up to!

¢ As the network likes to remind us, “The New Adventures of Old Christine” (7:30 p.m., CBS) is the only show starring an alumnus of the show about nothing to escape a certain curse. Tonight’s second-season closer contains just a few reminders of its “Seinfeld” pedigree. For starters, the whole episode revolves around a night of “meaningless” sex between Christine and her ex, the same kind of “passion” Elaine used to share with Jerry. And look for a scene of Christine and her brother making nervous chitchat in a drugstore aisle, just like George and Jerry used to do.

Tonight’s other highlights

¢ An ailing model may have bigger problem than narcotics on “House” (7 p.m., Fox).

¢ The competition continues on “Dancing with the Stars” (7 p.m., ABC).

¢ Of grandmothers and math on “Everybody Hates Chris” (7 p.m., CW).

¢ Barney salvages a botched wedding on “How I Met Your Mother” (7 p.m., CBS)

¢ Every item brings a jackpot on a special episode of “Antiques Roadshow” (7 p.m., PBS, check local listings).

¢ Photogenic college pals (Rob Lowe, Demi Moore, Andrew McCarthy, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy, Emilio Estevez and Mare Winningham) suffer a series of midlife crises within months of graduation in the 1985 melodrama “St. Elmo’s Fire” (7:30 p.m., Oxygen).

¢ Neesee mulls motherhood on “All of Us” (7:30 p.m., CW)

¢ Election Day and doomsday converge on “Heroes” (8 p.m., NBC).

¢ Joan pops the question on a one-hour season finale of “Girlfriends” (8 p.m., CW).

¢ “Cities of the Underworld” (8 p.m., History) looks at buried remnants of Roman greatness, including an ancient firehouse.

¢ Who really cares about “The Bachelor” (8:30 p.m., ABC)?

¢ A murdered carjacker may have drug ties on “CSI: Miami” (9 p.m., CBS).

¢ Dinner-party pressures on “The Riches” (9 p.m., FX).

¢ John Waters hosts “‘Til Death Do Us Part” (9 p.m., Court).

¢ Lee Gutkind is booked on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart” (10 p.m., Comedy Central)

¢ Regis Philbin and Darlene Love appear on “Late Show with David Letterman” (10:35 p.m., CBS)

¢ Jay Leno hosts Mike Myers, Brady Barr and The Cat Empire on “The Tonight Show” (10:35 p.m., NBC)