The first thing you want to do is make sure your party doesn’t have a complicated theme or a wild atmosphere. You’re not tossing an acid house bash for all your friends. Create a mood that seniors, middle-aged and young will feel comfortable with – maybe something old-school ’50s with a lounge mood. Mom and Dad’s Tony Bennett records will make them feel at home, and you can mix some complementary traditional and contemporary martinis.

¢ If you’re a blended family and the whole question of whose parents should be helping plan the party is an issue, just take the initiative to choose a neutral location. How about the scene of your first date? If it was a walk on the beach or in the park it could be a picnic.

¢ Make the guest list a combination of members from both families, parents’ friends and your friends. Remember the golden rule of engagement parties: Invite only those who will also be invited to the wedding.

Food and drinks

¢ The food should be fun and maybe a little romantic. No one says you need to have a dinner party, although you could. A brunch would work just as well. It could simply be an hors d’oeuvres buffet or an afternoon tea with a beautiful cake, desserts and coffee.

¢ Don’t forget the champagne for a short toast. Wait until the wedding for extended toasts; you’ll be there soon enough.

¢ And this is a chance to do something grand. Get the best champagne you can afford – it’s only for this moment; it’s not going to flow throughout the party. If you use paper plates and plastic cups for everything else, make sure you have stemware for the champagne. Why not rent? Bubbly really tastes different in the proper glass.

Meet and greet

¢ If the families are meeting for the first time, some party planners recommend an icebreaker. Usually it’s an involving game of the type you’d typically play at a shower. I really don’t go for those, and if you don’t either, then try something much simpler. You can designate a person to make introductions all around during the party. Or bring out some old family photos from both sides – just a few to talk about where your clan is from, what they’re like and what the two groups might have in common. No home movies or giant photo scrapbooks – you don’t want to bore anyone. Keep it simple, and let love be your theme.