Hartford, Conn. — Steve Till, general manager at the Hartford Club, hadn't banked on the conversation he had with his soon-to-be-16 daughter several weeks ago.
She wants a party, a Sweet 16 party, and she wants more than a family gathering with some cake.
Nicole Till has been bitten by the MTV "My Super Sweet 16" show, which is driving a teen fad. She wants an event - an unforgettable night of nights, one that is so over the top it will have friends hoping to be on the guest list.
Birthdays, bat mitzvahs, high school graduations and quinceaneras have become big business when it comes to opulence, and shows like "My Sweet 16" are fueling party fever.
"I read an article about parties for teenagers titled 'Don't You Wish Your Party Was Hot Like Mine,' and that said it all," said Susan Reardon, a Litchfield County mother who is planning a $12,000 birthday party for her nearly 16-year-old daughter, Grace. Those plans include specially designed invitations, a tented backyard with linen-covered round tables, a dance floor, a band, an ice cream sundae bar and DVDs of the celebration for all the guests.
"I'm not sure this party is so much about celebrating her birthday but about her being 'in,'" said Reardon, a mother of three. "You do what you do for your kids, even it means biting your tongue and spending the money."
Andrea Manning, spokeswoman for "My Super Sweet 16," which premiered in 2005, said the show covers outrageous events because that's what people want to watch. "These events are planned before MTV comes into the mix," she e-mailed. "We do not plan the parties for the families. We aren't promoting these parties; we are just documenting teenagers who are having lavish Sweet 16 parties."
But if imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then a lot of teenagers and their parents have waded in as they try to put their collective best foot and festivities forward. "Everybody wants the best, and everyone wants to think they are better than they are," said 16-year-old Sara Robotham of Farmington.
Even as a guest there is pressure to excel when it comes to attending such soirees.
"I had a custom dress made for my friend Carly's Sweet 16 party at a hotel in Long Island. I wanted something unique, something so that I would fit in," Robotham said. "The party theme was 'Candyland,' and she had huge gingerbread men and candy canes made from Styrofoam. It was gorgeous."
So what is driving it all, really? Industry experts say it is no different than when dance parties in the basement, bowling parties, bashes at McDonald's or pool parties were the celebrations to have.
"It is all about trends," said Andrea Correale, president of Elegant Affairs in New York. "These big parties are what is in these days."
Correale says she has guided parties with price tags of up to half a million dollars, and while that's not affordable for most - "I have had clients who took out mortgages in order to stage a party," she said - the bottom line is the kids want parties, and parents are accommodating them.
And as far as the Till family's birthday plans?
"She'll have a limo, a new dress. There will be ice carvings, a (disc jockey), invitations, maybe a comic," Steve Till said. "But we're controlling the budget. It won't be lavish, but it will be something for her to remember."
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bugmenot (anonymous) says…
Um, if I had wanted a party like this, my mom would not have taken out two mortgages and said, "You do what you can for your kids, even if it means biting your tongue and spending the money." She probably would have had me institutionalized if I, even for one second, thought she'd spend anywhere near this amount of money on my birthday party. As I recall, we had a cake, and I took my then-10 year old "new to me" car out for a drive with friends. We drove by the houses of boys we liked and giggled if they were home. Geez.
Calliope877 (anonymous) says…
This is just retarded...
These girls are obviously spoiled rotten and they'll end up being worthless, self-absorbed human beings.
coolmom (anonymous) says…
makes me want to go smack my teenagers....seriously one of my daughters watches this show and usually sits with her mouth open in astonishment the whole time saying what a spoiled brat or comments to that. she yells for me every once in a while to "mom! come see this madness!"
Easy_Does_It (anonymous) says…
I've seen the show with my kids and it appears to be a not so subtle dig on the people participating. My kids also have negative comments for the participants. Seems like a public service message.
MTV also has a show revolving around under age newly weds heading for a train wreck - a good show to watch with your kids.
hilary (anonymous) says…
C'mon, guys. What's $300,000 for a special night of turning sixteen? Really, it needs to be memorable. My favorite is when these kids get $100,000 cars, and they can't drive yet!
Gosh, I remember my sixteenth birthday: I went to school in my signature KEY overalls, went to play rehearsal, followed by attending Driver's Ed class that evening. When I returned home, I was surprised by a gift of a soft, pink blanket for my bed. Only the best for this princess, I tell you!
feeble (anonymous) says…
So this is just the evolution of the Quinceañera/Quince Años tradition, correct? I mean, the article does mention Quinceañera as a source. Coming of age rituals are fairly common throughout the world. Is it really surprising that affluent citizens would spend money in this way? I think the thing to do is impress upon youngsters the cultural significance of the event, rather than the "big party" factor.
It is sad to see that these traditions have become, for some, less about a celebration of an individual's culture and heritage, and more about being in the "in" crowd.
Confrontation (anonymous) says…
These parties are stupid and these parents should never have had kids. Too many parents are like this. They may not be spending $500,000 on a party, but what they are doing is just as bad. Go to Mass Street sometime and watch the kids using daddy's credit card to splurge. Check out their disrespectful attitudes towards everyone. I understand the desire to occassionally buy something nice for your kid, but this overspending is incredibly sad. This is how we end up with sorority and fraternity members (Just kidding! Almost.).
audvisartist (anonymous) says…
I turned down Sweet 16 after I found out what the show was all about. I got my music on MTV's Made and thought that was pretty cool... so when the producers of Sweet 16 called me up, I thought, "Hey, that might be fun!" But then I looked at all the crap the show was about and told them I just couldn't do it. Took away from my royalties, but at least I stuck to my guns!
KStater (Kristen Murphy) says…
Huh. It's called the word "NO". Or how about "Um get a life". I'd like to see my child try and ask me to spend that much for his/her Sweet 16. Not gonna happen.
ranger73 (anonymous) says…
12k for a party? I don't think so...Daddy's gonna buy a new boat before blowing that kind of money on a party, 16 or not. Besides, my daughter isn't supposed to be out dating until she is 30 and has a note from mom.
Puggy (anonymous) says…
if my kids are ever that vain, i'd euthanize them.
sixtwelvewest (anonymous) says…
This is my favorite line: "I had a custom dress made for my friend Carly's Sweet 16 party at a hotel in Long Island. I wanted something unique, something so that I would fit in," Robotham said.
How unique, wanting to fit in. Oh, to be an idiot again!
geekin_topekan (anonymous) says…
Puggy,that's called "late term abortion".
It's in the works.
75x55 (anonymous) says…
"Besides, my daughter isn't supposed to be out dating until she is 30 and has a note from mom."
And Dad driving the car...
mommaeffortx2 (anonymous) says…
my middle girl watches this show and says I just want to slap the dumb b****'s, she is 18, I sit there saying the parents need slapped and told to wake the F**K up get a grip on reality and your runaway kids, who is the parent??
aquakej (anonymous) says…
Confrontation, this is definatley where Greeks are made.