The best we can do is hope, pray and set a clear example

John Brewer, member, Unitarian Fellowship of Lawrence, 1263 N. 1100 Road:

In truth, we cannot make sure of anything in our lives but death and taxes.

An easy answer to this difficult question is this: Become Amish, move to an Amish community, have an Amish spouse and raise your children in that community. Your children will in all likelihood become people of that faith with no force required.

Short of doing this, the best you can do in our religious cafeteria culture is hope, pray and set a clear example. It might also help to teach your children something about where your denomination came from and how and why it is different from others.

In parts of the world where a single religion and culture are closely interwoven, the child’s choice is either to participate in the observances or not, if even that choice is available. There is no choosing of flavors, Christian or otherwise, and thus a question like the one posed today would be unlikely to arise.

Unfortunately, going through the motions of the faith of our fathers may not be enough to convince God that we are sincere, as the Danish theologian Kierkegaard took pains to point out. Even being a sincere believer may not be enough to save us from damnation, according to the Calvinist doctrine of election.

This is an area in which my Universalist forbears departed from their Puritan brethren in the 18th century. But who says that our children deserve to have a faith that makes sense?

– Send e-mail to John Brewer at jbrewer@sunflower.com

Parents must guide children’s values and belief systems

Joanna Harader, pastor, Peace Mennonite Church, 1204 Oread Ave.:

How can you make sure your children become people of faith? You can’t.

There is no certainty about faith. It is inspired, developed and maintained through the work of the Holy Spirit. We do not even control our own faith, let alone that of our children.

And yet, the uncertainty of faith does not give us license to simply turn our children loose in the world. If we are not actively guiding their values and belief systems, the fashion industry, music companies and Hollywood are more than happy to take the lead.

As I raise my own three children, I try to walk a middle road between “forcing” faith on them and turning them loose with no religious grounding.

First, I try to be a person of faith. By the grace of God, I seek to practice what I preach.

Second, I involve my children in a caring church community. My husband and I both attended church all through our teen years simply because that is what our families did on Sunday. We’re establishing this pattern with our children as well.

Third, I pray with my children. They take turns praying at mealtimes. At bedtime we pray for family and friends and pray the Lord’s Prayer together.

Finally, I engage in dialogue about faith. I discuss faith issues with other adults and with my children. Everyone is allowed to ask questions.

These are some ways I am trying to guide my children toward becoming people of faith. But please understand that my oldest is only 9 years old. So check back with me in about 10 years, and I’ll tell you how it’s going.

– Send e-mail to Joanna Harader at peacemennonite@gmail.com.