Blaming others, even God, is human nature

The Rev. Angela Lowe, chaplain, Lawrence Memorial Hospital, 325 Maine:

Oftentimes we feel that life is unfair and God is unjust. These feelings are outraged especially when a sudden death plunges us in an emotional roller coaster ride. It is human nature to blame, so our creator gets the brunt of our anger.

One particular day, a patient who was a Korean Conflict veteran requested a visit. After initial remarks, I asked how he was coping with life. He was silent. I probed further. He just replied with minimal comments. Then I invited him to talk about his military service. His voice gained energy as he talked about his various experiences on an aircraft carrier. He smiled as he proudly said, “I never lost a plane on my shift.” He had retired and reconnected to a community of faith where he was actively involved. Then, his voice cracked and his eyes filled with tears as he angrily voiced, “Why do I work for God and have cancer?”

There is not an answer to his question – not in this life. Not in our finite understanding of suffering. It is not God’s will that we have cancer. Yet, a healthy response is to name our anger and to talk about those feelings instead of stuffing them deep inside or expressing them in destructive ways.

The Psalter is full of laments: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” – the cry of David, the cry of Jesus, the cry of each of us when life is unfair. God does not punish us if we are angry. Instead, we are invited to talk about our anger. In the midst of our laments, if we are honest and open, a glimmer of hope can be found: God’s steadfast love will never cease. In time, we discover a healing refuge. Shalom.

Forgiveness separates types of anger

The Rev. Jeff Lilley, pastor, Good Shepherd Lutheran Church, 2211 Inverness Drive:

Anger is an emotion that expresses fear in a deep and sometime intense fashion. Extreme anger can tear apart relationships and lead to violence and even death. Left unreconciled, anger can poison the strongest friendship and fracture the most beautiful marriage.

Some have written that anger toward God is always inappropriate since God is perfect and never deserving of our anger. However, such a view gives neither God nor Scripture much credit. Job, Jonah and the Psalms of Lament are all wonderful examples of God’s people expressing their frustration and anger at God. Job is, at times, downright nasty in his “righteous anger” against God.

The difference between our anger at God and anger directed at other people is that God offers God’s forgiveness unconditionally and without reservation. God reconciles our anger with God’s love.

A classic example is the story of Jonah who was sent to Nineveh to proclaim their destruction within 40 days for their wickedness. But the people repent, and God does not destroy them. Jonah is “angry enough to die” when the city is not destroyed. But God points out to Jonah, and to us, that mercy is greater than retribution, and that love is greater than even the hottest anger.

God does not punish Jonah for his anger toward God, and God does not punish us for our anger toward God. Instead God’s strength and mercy bear our anger, and calls us through God’s grace back into relationship with God and one another.