Older or more established couples might prefer a gift that is more ornamental or collectible, rather than basics for the kitchen or bathroom.
Sometimes, the ubiquitous toaster doesn't cut it.
Wedding gifts for older couples, sometimes on their second marriages, require more creativity than shopping for younger counterparts. What wish list is apropos for more established couples, if any? What types of gifts are expected from guests?
Of course, answers to these questions vary by each unique duo, but common sense and etiquette have their say, too.
For couples: What to ask for
Holly Davidson, a certified wedding consultant with Simple Elegance wedding planners, typically sees three scenarios for older couples: a request for no gifts, a pared-down registry or a donation fund.
"Many older couples don't register because they have everything," she says. "If it is their first wedding and they just happen to be older, they can register for what they want and may need; they may not do it on such a grand scale, though. Many times, they will find a charity that they support and ask for donations to it instead of gifts."
Geri Riekhof, owner of The Bay Leaf, 725 Mass., said that her specialty kitchen store attracts primarily thirtysomethings who are getting married for the first time, followed by couples on their second marriages.
"We get the more settled people who enjoy cooking and entertaining and delight in upgrading their cookware or bakeware - up-to-the-minute kitchen gadgets," she said. "For people on their second marriage, they're ready to have 'ours', not 'his' and 'hers.' They're more anxious to set up their own kitchen."
For guests: What to give
Davidson said that no matter the age of the couple, guests want to send gifts.
"But it is okay for guests to not give anything, since the true gift to the couple is them sharing in the day with them," she said.
"If they feel obliged to give, then typically it is best to give a gift that may reflect the personality of the couple or a gift that conveys a sentiment to the couple for you. It is also acceptable to get them a practical gifts - these typically are spread by word of mouth to guests through family and close friends," Davidson added.
Reikhof suggested letting the couple pick out their own gifts.
"People really enjoy gift certificates," she said. "After the wedding is over and they get settled, then they can see what they need to fill in. The reason people enjoy our store is they can fill in the niches with special gadgets, or upgrade to upscale items."
Jo Haehal, department head and buyer for the Home section at Weaver's, added a few practical items to the list.
"Things anybody could use are nice frames or a functional, collectible piece of pottery," she said. "And as people get older, they're getting to the point where their towels and linens aren't looking so great."
Alternative gift registries
Because guests must visit these online in order to purchase a gift, couples should visit a variety of these sites to choose a design style and user-friendliness that suits them.
As always, all parties should read the terms of agreement and small print. While some of the sites listed give all allotted money to the couple, some - particularly the honeymoon sites - can take up to 10 percent of the money gifted to the couple.
Big-ticket items
Felicite.com
Felicite's unique Partial Purchase Option allows a couple to register for large items that no one, not even a rich uncle, is planning to splurge for. Guests can give money toward a sofa, a houseboat or even a BMW.
IDoFoundation.org
Couples have three options for presenting their registries here.
They select a charity that guests can donate to in whatever amounts they choose. With each addition, guests can leave a personal note to the couple, who receive an e-mail notification.
Couples can create a traditional registry with one or several of the foundation's registry partners, including Amazon.com, Target and Linens 'n' Things. Each partner gives a portion, up to 8 percent, of the total amount spent by guests on the registry to the couple's chosen charity, costing neither the couple nor guests any extra money.
Couples can offer guests each of the above options.
JustGive.org
After selecting a handful of their favorite charities, both national and local, guests can select any amount (after a $5 minimum) to donate to any combination of the selected charities. Givers can create a note or choose to remain anonymous.
Honeymoon
HoneyLuna.com
HoneymoonWishes.com
SendUsOff.com
TheBigDay.com
With a slim handful of differentiating features, these sites all allow couples to segment the costs their trip by specific activities. For example, using prices from TheBigDay.com on a trip to Cancun, a couple could choose to register for a $75 limo ride to the airport, two $35 breakfasts in bed and a $180 day at the spa, even breaking up the costs of larger items into more manageable chunks.
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