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Archive for Wednesday, December 12, 2007

6Sports video: KU meeting with Virginia Tech first in school history

December 12, 2007

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Kansas first fielded a football team in 1890 - but not once in 117 years have the Jayhawks played against Virginia Tech. At least not until January 3rd.

KU meeting with Virginia Tech first in school history

Kansas first fielded a football team in 1890 - but not once in 117 years have the Jayhawks played against Virginia Tech. At least not until January 3rd. Enlarge video

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joshos 7 years ago

http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/orangebowl/game-prep/steps/story/8452.html

'Orange Bowl Taking Unprecedented Pre-Game Preparations' -Denying entrance to the park if accompanied by a pitbull. -Special cards will be handed out to local females to hand to KU fans which say 'I am not your sister/cousin so please leave me alone.' -Cards in both English will be made available to the local Latino residents for handout which say 'I am from Cuba. No, not Cuba, Kansas.' -State department officials will be on hand to counsel any KU players/coaches that want to leave their Lawrence existence and defect to Cuba. -Marine Mammal Rescue Center will be notified of an increase in false rescue calls in case Coach Mangino happens to wander near the beach. -The lobby store at the Kansas team hotel will have all pairs of men's XXXL thongs removed from the racks. -A special parking area will be set aside for combines, tractors, grain trucks, low riders, and pimped out Cadillacs. -A 15 second video offering in-depth analysis and highlights of all the Kansas cultural attractions will be shown at halftime. -A special 'Marcus Vick Stomp on a Leg' halftime game will be presented. Contestants will see who can stomp the most times on the calf of a life-size mannequin in 30 seconds. -An educational video will be sent to the University of Kansas team titled 'The Atlantic Ocean. It is bigger than Clinton Lake.' -A mock military funeral will be set up in the parking lot for KU fans to protest. -The game will be simulcast in English, Spanish, Ebonics, and Redneck. -Special metal detectors will be set up at the Hokie entrances that can differentiate between weapons and gold teeth, thereby speeding up the entrance lines. -All balloons handed out to KU fans with will include the inscription 'This Is Not a C0ndom. -Fox's Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long will hold a lively halftime debate pitting Evolution against Intelligent Design. -The Miami-Dade County Health Department will offer free paternity checks for all children in attendance. -Fred Phelps will lead KU's pregame prayer. -Representative from the Lawrence Beauty Academy Inc. will be on hand to offer free advice to female Kansas fans on upgrading their careers to the wonderful world of cosmetology. -Officials from the Virginia Governor's office will be on hand to discuss possible pardons with Hokie players (applies to both past and future transgressions). -Kansas Board of Tourism has been invited to the game to unveil a new campaign promoting their great state: -I70: As straight as it is flat. -Best of the rectangle states. -We have plenty of rest stops and gas stations for your trip to Colorado. -Cabela's: Only 10 miles from Missouri. -Our dust storms are truly world class. -The Saskatchewan of the U.S. -Not only corn, we have wheat too!!! -Tornado Alley: Not just a nickname, it is a way of life.

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