This Owens story too hard to believe

T.O. tried suicide?

I first heard it Wednesday morning on my way to Bears practice. I said to myself: “Nahhh, can’t be.”

Could it?

Well, this is the NFL, a league that has given us a player (O.J.) tried for first-degree murder of his ex-wife, a player (Rae Carruth) serving 18 to 24 years in the pen for conspiracy to kill his girlfriend and a player (Fred Lane) shot to death by his wife.

It has given us a player (Stanley Wilson) who OD’d before Super Bowl XXIII, a player (Eugene Robinson) busted for soliciting a hooker on the eve of Super Bowl XXXII and a player (Barret Robbins) who disappeared before Super Bowl XXXVII and spent game day in a hospital bed, on drugs and incoherent.

This year alone, the NFL has given us a player (Ben Roethlisberger) who crashed a motorcycle and broke his jaw and nose, a player (Steve Foley) shot three times by cops and a player (Ricky Manning Jr.) who has pleaded no contest to felony assault on a customer in a coffee shop.

So not much surprises me.

Terrell Owens, an “attempted suicide,” however … now that’s a new one.

Just when you think you have heard it all, every bizarre tale from a Miami Dolphins star choosing marijuana over football to a Minnesota Vikings whiz kid using a very weird device to fool a urine test, a story like this comes along that makes your eyeballs pop right out of your skull.

I couldn’t believe it. OK, so T.O. is a 33-year-old who sometimes needs a personal timeout more than a 3-year-old. And sure, he has squabbled with a teammate and has been body-slammed to the turf by an opponent, both of whom were fed up with his me-me-me attitude. But to kill himself by popping pills?

That I found difficult to swallow. Owens often has been accused of self-destructive behavior, but not this destructive. This is a guy who generally is thought of as having a foot in his mouth, not one foot in an early grave.

So it came as a relief to confirm from the horse’s mouth that no, it was no suicide attempt, Tuesday night’s incident in Dallas that led to a 911 emergency call and to Owens being hustled to a hospital as a possible drug overdose.

He did take too many of his meds, yes, but he didn’t mean to.

“The rumor of me taking 35 pills, I think, is absurd,” Owens tried to explain. “I wouldn’t be here if I took 35 pills.”

That’s how many were missing from a prescription bottle of 40. Kim Etheredge, the player’s publicist, knew Owens had taken five. She didn’t know that apparently he had put the other 35 pills in a drawer.

Etheredge did know that when she asked Owens a question, she didn’t get a satisfactory answer. He seemed out of it. “Non-responsive,” to use her word and Owens’ too.

Well, next thing you know, an episode of “House” broke out.

Was it an allergic reaction to a painkiller? No one claimed to know. Was his stomach pumped? No one seemed sure. Did he tell paramedics he was depressed? That’s how one report read. Did a paramedic pry pills out of Owens’ mouth and get him to admit he tried to do himself harm? Maybe.

Owens has been in only two games for the Cowboys to date, but he is the player on “America’s Team” that Americans know best by far.

The NFL can thank its lucky stars that T.O. didn’t turn out to be D.O.A.

That’s a story everybody in this league could gladly live without.