Chicago ? This is what really happened in the latest Chronicles of Ben, the benching, the headband and the childishness.

Ben Wallace, realizing the Bulls were struggling, losers of six straight on their Western Conference road trip, the rotation ever changing, the players uncertain and doubting in the face of huge expectations, decided to take it upon himself to save the team.

So knowing headbands aren’t permitted by the Bulls and coming off a benching when he was credited with zero rebounds – not that he cared since team goals are all that matter to him – Wallace wore a headband, openly refused to take it off, finally did, but then wore it again to open the second half against the New York Knicks on Saturday. Clearly, everyone would see it as a challenge to coach Scott Skiles and the organization that gave him a $60 million contract and all the attention would be directed at Wallace.

And the kids could relax, not worry about the 4-9 record and just play without pressure.

It’s hard to believe the Bulls didn’t come up with that one, too, Monday.

There was so much spinning going on at the Berto Center that it appeared to be a tryout for Skiles on “Dancing with the Stars.”

But what else could they do?

The Bulls are stuck with Wallace and Wallace is stuck with the Bulls. No one is going to take that contract. Though general manager John Paxson must have had an inkling, as the Bulls front-loaded the contract so Wallace’s salary declines every year and he should be easier to trade.

These are serious issues, so us big-time writers like to fall back on famous quotes to show we do more than read the sports pages.

So as Barney Fife would say: “Nip it, nip it, nip it!”

No, the Bulls can’t do that with Wallace. You know this is just the beginning with Wallace, who we now know is a prima donna caught up in his own image.

But this season is hardly gone.

In fact, if Wallace could have waited a few days before deciding to show Skiles he was mad at him for the benching, the Bulls could be on a winning streak, and what would be the big deal?

The Bulls could easily run off a spurt to get back around .500 quickly.

All things are possible in the conference that is the Barney Fife of basketball.

Which team do you fear?

Which is not to say the Bulls don’t have issues. Wallace is a shadow of what he was, so he needs help. The idea of getting Wallace, which is much criticized now, was sound. The Bulls still haven’t won a playoff series since 1998. Make a move and give your kids behind Wallace, like Tyrus Thomas, time to come on.

The alternatives, after all, were Joel Przybilla and Nazr Mohammed. And there’s the chance to swap picks with the Knicks in June and likely get a high lottery pick.

But now it’s clear the Bulls have been given the bad news about Wallace: He has 18 months to live, maybe 12 (as a productive NBA player).

He’s not the defensive rock and intimidator the Bulls hoped they’d get. But he has been called out now, and I assume he’ll respond with decent, if not exceptional, play.

So get someone. Pau Gasol, whom I’ve ruminated about? Paul Pierce? Ray Allen?

Yes, Kevin Garnett.

I know, I know. I’ve mentioned trade possibilities for him so often I’m now listed with local media in the Timberwolves’ media guide.