I am making a list of resolutions, and I’m determined to stick to them.

I’m not talking about New Year’s resolutions. I never plan that far ahead, and besides, I gave those up at 4:30 p.m. on Jan. 1, 1998, after I announced, “I really am going to lose 30 pounds this year” while simultaneously popping a piece of leftover fudge into my mouth.

No, these resolutions start today.

The holiday season has officially begun and, this year, I’m establishing strict, personal guidelines to be of good cheer and stable blood pressure during the coming weeks.

Resolution No. 1: I will have my gift buying completed, presents wrapped and shipped, if applicable, no later than Dec. 15. You won’t see me combing the stores with all of those glassy-eyed, panic-stricken men THIS Christmas Eve. Joy to the world, my procrastinating days are over!

No. 2: I will resist the temptation, no matter how great, to get “a little something for myself” when purchasing gifts for others. No more of this “one for them; one for me” mentality. Even when those pre-wrapped gift baskets beckon with their gourmet chocolates or imported soaps, and they look so pretty and, oh, how I love opening presents, and I really do deserve it : I will remember it is better to give. To others, that is.

No. 3: I will NOT buy any more decorations for my home. I have more than enough ornaments, greenery, lights, candles and minitrees. I do not need a single embellishment more. No, I mean it! Even if I’m at Target and the cutest Santa cheese spreaders I’ve ever seen are marked down, I will not cave. Even when Hobby Lobby puts all of its holiday bric-a-brac on sale at 50 percent off, I will not buckle. Even if – oh, the pain – my favorite Polish pottery factory releases a new holiday pattern for 2006 and there’s a chance I may never get another opportunity to buy, I will resist.

No. 4: With St. Nicholas as my witness, I will NOT spend a red cent on new wrapping paper until the 12 old rolls in the attic are used up.

No. 5: No more Christmas CD impulse buys. You know you have way too much holiday music when your collection includes “Christmas Time Again” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. (OK, I’m making that up, but only because I was afraid to admit I own “The Holiday Album” by Kenny G.)

No. 6: When invited to a festive event, I will not panic because I have nothing to wear. And I definitely won’t run out and buy something new on the day of the party. I will simply remind myself that people don’t remember what you wear from one holiday to the next unless your outfit is unbelievably gaudy or if it lights up. (“Remember what she wore last year? One look at her and I saw spots for a week!”)

No. 7: I will not get hung up on the “Merry Christmas” vs. “happy holidays” debate. And I will not participate in any heated discussion on the issue. If I know a person celebrates Christmas, I’ll say “Merry Christmas.” If I know they celebrate Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, I’ll say, “Happy Hanukkah or Kwanzaa.” If I’m not sure, it’ll be “happy holidays.” That’s it. It’s just too hard to be jolly when you’re overthinking.

And, finally: I will avoid, like the plague, the snack table at work where well-meaning but misguided people (you know who you are) bring candy, fudge, cookies and, my downfall, caramel and cheese popcorn. And I will never again say, “I probably shouldn’t” or “just one little taste” while I graze, as if anyone actually buys that line of bull. And no more breaking cookies in half, as if that’s all I really intend to eat. Because everybody sees me coming back for the other half minutes later. Who do I think I’m kidding?

As I read over my list of resolutions, I already feel a sense of calm. This is the structure I need to face the holidays. I am serene knowing a peaceful and bright season awaits. And, most importantly, I take comfort and joy in the fact that resolutions, no matter what time of year they’re made, are meant to be broken.

– Cathy Hamilton is host of “Home & Away” on Sunflower Broadband Channel 6 and a 50-year-old empty-nester. Events recounted here may be embellished, exaggerated or completely made up because she can’t remember squat anymore.