These days it costs as much to have a wedding on average as it does to buy a new car.

The Conde Nast Bridal Group, which publishes Brides, Modern Bride and Elegant Bride magazines, says the average amount spent on weddings has increased to $27,852, up from the average $15,208 wedding in 1990.

But as couples are spending more on weddings, so too are those who attend and those who are invited to be part of the ceremony.

For example, an increasing percentage of couples are choosing to have destination weddings, meaning they fly away to some neutral location, often a resort with a beach. Guests usually have to fly in at their own cost.

About 16 percent of all couples have a destination wedding, a 400 percent increase in the last 10 years, according to Conde Nast. Couples who have destination weddings spend an average of $25,806 with 63 guests attending.

One recent wedding guest, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of retaliation from the happy couple, said she was not so happy when she found out how much she and her family would have to pay to attend a Caribbean wedding of this close relative. The airfare alone cost $1,200.

“They picked the most expensive resort on the island at $600 a night,” the woman said. “That just flipped me out. I thought it was a huge imposition to put that kind of financial burden on us.”

It’s most certainly not wrong or poor etiquette to decline a wedding invitation if you can’t afford to attend for financial or any other reasons. If a bride or groom or both order you to come or else, choose the “or else.” You’ll be better off.

Millie Martini Bratten, editor in chief of Brides magazine, advises that if you are planning a destination wedding or the ceremony is at a location that will require guests to spend quite a bit of money, there are some things you can do to minimize the costs.

District of Columbia residents Janet Daly and her fiance, Andrew Baumann, are having a destination wedding in Mexico this November and went to great lengths to reduce costs for their guests.

They found discount flights. They found a hotel with rooms for $73 a night that is close to the wedding hotel. They’re paying for dinner and drinks for two nights. They’ve offered to pair up single girlfriends so that they can share hotel rooms.

And what about gifts? Are you obligated to buy the couple a gift if you spend big bucks to attend their nuptials?

Bratten says the gift can be small, such as a nice framed photo of the couple from the wedding.