When anatomies are as finely tuned as they are for modern athletic events, injuries that don’t seem plausible often occur.

Barbaro the race horse is a masterfully crafted creature who had his career ended because he was so specialized. Baseballer Albert Pujols sadly is out of commission for a costly period, maybe because he lifted too many weights.

Then there is Bulked-Up Baseballer Barry Bonds, whose knee may force him into retirement after a long period of pursuing better living through chemistry. Hope he falls short of Hank Aaron’s 755-homer record. Aaron was so decent, genuine and dependable; Bonds has such a shabby portfolio.

Nutty injuries? There have been plenty of them around here.

One of the most unusual was a Kansas Jayhawk football quarterback of promise whose career was terminated by a severe back injury created from straining too hard to conquer constipation. Cool stool, not.

Towering Paul Mokeski, the former KU basketballer, got a serious groin-muscle injury while clumsily unfolding from a Volkswagen Beetle? Seven-footers beware, although the immortal Wilt Chamberlain rode in and drove Beetles but never got hurt during ingress or egress. What about that (officially) undisclosed illness which in effect ended Luke Axtell’s short KU basketball career?

Probably the most celebrated injury around here in recent times was the leg-slashing basketball’s J.R. Giddens received during one of his early morning confrontations. He contended he was attacked by the culinary creature, while the blade-man said Giddens was kicking at him while he was horizontal. A midget might be only tall enough to carve J.R.’s leg, but it would appear the assailant did his slice job from a very low level, like on the ground.

A lot of jocks in trouble submit wild alibis. Like O.J. Simpson after he’d allegedly murdered an ex-wife and her friend and escaped prison: “Even if I did do this, it would have to have been because I loved her very much, right?” Yeah, yeah; sure, sure!

Consider the Kansas coach who got involved in an all-night card game in Kansas City and felt compelled to touch home base. He called his wife and declared he’d have to stay in K.C. because his car had clunked and he couldn’t get it out of the shop ’til morning. Whereupon said spouse reminded him he’d been picked up at their house by a friend for the trip; their auto was still firmly ensconced in the garage. But the guy was wondrously glib and somehow escaped the guillotine.

One of the classic “gotchas” comes from columnist Rick Reilly. Rick cites Alex Hawkins, former NFL receiver. Alex got home at 6 a.m. after a night of carousing, but told his wife he’d fallen asleep about midnight in their hammock on the porch. Not sure which frying pan she used after informing him she’d put away the hammock for the winter – two weeks earlier.

Further nuttiness. Dallas Cowboy coach Barry Switzer was asked how he could have forgotten he was toting a loaded revolver when he passed through an airport security check. “Don’t forget, I’m 60 years old.” Nothing about those firearms found in Oklahoma grid dormitories when Barry was coach.

You tell the truth, you don’t have to remember what you said, right?