Chicago ? Quite a bit of fuss is being kicked up over another of those cute stunts Major League Baseball loves to come up with. This time it’s a “Hometown Heroes” promotion in which five players from each franchise are put forth as those who best represent that team’s history.

MLB credited the commish, Bud Selig, with being particularly excited about this and “the healthy debate it will provoke.”

Bud must be tickled pink, then, that in Chicago a great debate has begun over a gentleman whose name you may recall, Sammy Sosa, and how he could have been excluded from the Cubs’ fab five.

A vote will be taken to find a “Hometown Hero” from each team. Criteria include “on-field performance, leadership quality and character value,” which, as you know, also is the Hall of Fame’s holy trinity. As so often is the case, something done in fun has resulted in howls of protest.

Oh, how could they have left off Sosa? Oh, how could you want that so-and-so? Oh, if the Reds can have that crook Pete Rose on their list and the Tigers that bigot Ty Cobb and the Giants that fathead Barry Bonds, how can you justify the Cubs not having Sosa on theirs?

To which I offer two words:

Lighten up.

This thing is trivial beyond words, and before it turns into a full-blown argument over whether Sosa is a blight on the earth or a martyr on the order of Joan of Arc, let me give you a small idea of how meaningless this “Hometown Hero” business is.

A list of those not nominated includes:

Grover Cleveland Alexander, Lou Boudreau, Jim Bunning, Mickey Cochrane, Bill Dickey, Don Drysdale, Whitey Ford, Jimmie Foxx, Rogers Hornsby, Carl Hubbell, Walter Johnson, Eddie Mathews, Christy Mathewson, Dave Parker, George Sisler, Pie Traynor and Paul Waner.

A list of those who are nominated includes:

Jim Abbott, Jay Bell, Dante Bichette, Jim Gantner, Rusty Greer, Pat Hentgen, Aubrey Huff, Brian Schneider, Todd Stottlemyre, Mark Teixeira and Dontrelle Willis.

Let’s begin with this. I do not know who Brian Schneider is.

Nothing personal. He could be the third coming of Mr. Ruth and Mr. Aaron, for all I know. But the fact is, I love baseball, and somebody named Schneider has been nominated as one of his team’s five all-time greats, yet I do not even know which position this ballplayer plays.

OK, off to the record book I go. Ah, here he is. Brian Schneider, a catcher for the Washington Nationals, I see. His awesome lifetime hit total to date: 441.

Exactly how far does this guy’s career date back, the early 21st Century? He is one of the five all-timers nominated by the Nationals, who used to be the Montreal Expos. Yes, this means that organization nominated him over Andre Dawson and Vladimir Guerrero.

Also nominated: Greer (1,166 hits), Huff (879) and Teixeira (588).

Ernie Banks, Fergie Jenkins, Ryne Sandberg, Ron Santo and Billy Williams are the Cubs’ five finalists. Sosa’s stats are far superior to Santo’s, but the latter is more popular inside the organization and probably outside it.

Don’t read anything of importance into this “Hometown Hero” thing, please, because it doesn’t mean a thing. Vote for anybody you like.

As for me, I’ll cast votes for my favorite baseball stars of all time. Probably the same three as yours: Babe Ruth, Hank Aaron and Brian Schneider.