You’re a coach, you’re a couch potato, you’re King of the Softball Diamond after work. At some point, at some time, the other guy made you mad.

He made you mad with that called strike three or that smirk after the banked-in three-point heave with a hand in his face. Maybe his kid scored a goal on your beloved 8-year-old or maybe you’ve got subconscious issues from reading the-bully-kicked-sand-in-my face ads in the comics when you were a child.

How mad were you? Mad enough to throw the beer can, mad enough to storm off toward the bathroom for some quiet time.

Mad enough to head-butt someone? Easy, buddy. It’s been done by people bigger and better at it than you:

Sacre Bleu! (July 2006)

The butt heard ’round the World Cup. French star Zinedine Zidane bowls over Italian defender Marco Materazzi like a bowling pin late in the World Cup soccer final and has to watch from the locker room as his team loses on penalty kicks. He gets named the tournament’s best player by journalists despite his attack.

French Soccer Star Zinedine ZIdane's headbutt of Italy's Marco Materazzi, in is all over the news lately, but Zidane's not the only celebrity to have gone knockin' noggins over the years.

The Worm Burns (March 1996)

Maybe the headbutt by which all others are measured. Golden-haired basketball goon Dennis Rodman gets ejected in the first quarter of Chicago’s game against New Jersey after going forehead-to-forehead with referee Ted Bernhardt. The Worm then rips off his Bulls jersey, knocks over a cooler and trots to the locker room. He later tells a TV station: “I’ve been a bad boy. I’m sorry. I’ll be a good boy.”

A French Thing? (2005)

Burly French actor Gerard Depardieu is accused of headbutting a paparazzo photographer in Florence, Italy. Gossip Web sites suggest Depardieu is unapologetic, attributing this statement to the “Green Card” star: “I would never hit a journalist. On the other hand a paparazzi who had already taken photos… (I said) ‘Now be nice, you’ve taken your pictures, leave us be.’ This isn’t a safari: There are risks, and the risk is that you will get my head in your face. But he didn’t listen me so my head delivers a single butt, that means two teeth less, and to tell you the truth, I’m pretty satisfied.”

Evander Holyfield's headbutt of Mike Tyson earned him a retaliatory ear munch.

Iron Mike (June 1997)

One of the most infamous bouts for all the wrong reasons features Mike Tyson getting disqualified after the third round for biting Evander Holyfield’s ears. Tyson claims he was retaliating for a headbutt inflicted by Holyfield, but referee Mills Lane says the butt was accidental.

Campbell’s Catfight (2004)

Amie Castaldo, a former assistant to Naomi Campbell, says the model physically – and verbally – attacked her, including a headbutt. “She abuses people,” Castaldo tells the New York Post. “Somebody has to stop her.” Naomi’s spokesperson says nothing doing and calls the claims “wild accusations.” Campbell is later charged with throwing a cell phone at her maid.

Naomi Campbell

Batter up (July 2000)

Red Sox outfielder Carl Everett has a meltdown and gets ejected in the second inning after an argument over whether he was standing too close to home plate. After he gets bounced, Everett slams his helmet to the ground, bumps home plate umpire Ronald Kulpa and then gives him a headbutt. He is restrained by coaches and teammates, then goes off some more after he reaches the dugout. Later, some describe the butt as a “beak,” saying Everett hit the ump in the face with the bill of his hat.

Midnight at the Oasis (March 1998)

Britain’s favorite bad boy, Oasis guitarist Noel Gallagher, is arrested in Australia for allegedly breaking a fan’s nose with a headbutt. The fan had taken a picture of Gallagher after a bad concert in which the group reportedly sounded horrible, bickered onstage and refused to perform an encore.

Gerard Depardieu

Footbrawl (October 2004)

Atlanta and Carolina have a nasty meeting, won by the Falcons 27-10 on the scoreboard, at least. The refs call 21 total penalties, including six personal fouls. Carolina linebacker Brandon Short is called for unnecessary roughness against star quarterback Michael Vick, and the two exchange head-butts – which leads to pushing and shoving between nearly every player on the field before things settle down.

Footbrawl II (November 2004)

An hour before the Cleveland-Pittsburgh game, Browns running back William Green and Steelers linebacker Joey Porter swap punches near midfield. Pittsburgh receiver Hines Ward says trash-talking led to an attempted headbutt by Green and that set things off.

Guys, it’s preseason (October 2004)

Wizards guard Larry Hughes draws a one-game suspension for head-butting Chicago’s Kirk Hinrich – in a preseason game. The confrontation sets off a fight that gets three other players suspended, too.

Carl Everett

Hello to you, too

Wesley Willis, a 300-some pound Chicago street singer, famously greeted fans with a headbutt – often enough that he had a permanent welt on his forehead. The schizophrenic Willis achieved cult status and was the subject of at least four documentaries before dying in 2003 at age 40.

Honorable mention (June 1985)

Actor Sean Penn is charged with beating two journalists outside a Nashville, Tenn., hotel. OK, he didn’t head-butt anyone, but he has to make the list because his confrontations with photographers are legendary. One of these guys claimed Penn hit him with a rock and whipped him with his own camera. Penn, you may remember, later spent 60 days in jail for violating probation after all the fisticuffs and had to get anger-management counseling. Oh, and he got divorced by Madonna.