Dear Kate & Dale: I’m preparing myself for going back into the job market. I’ve spent 22 years in banking, but retired five years ago when my husband had a massive stroke and needed full-time care. Will I be thought of as weak, not being able to juggle work and caring for him at the same time? I fear the first interview. – Patricia

Dale: First, if someone thinks you’re “weak” for caring for your husband, they are unworthy of someone with your character. Second, I would simply tell you “don’t worry,” but I’ve never seen that advice work – people just worry about worrying. Instead, replace your anxiety with this mantra: “I have great experience, and I can help a bank succeed.” Then, ask yourself this: What stands between me and a job helping a bank succeed?

Kate: The answer certainly isn’t that you’ve been a caring wife. It might, however, be a concern by prospective employers that you are out of touch with the field. Perhaps you could go to trade-association meetings and keep up your contacts. You might even decide to attend the association’s annual conference, where you will magically get up-to-date. You will know more than those so deep in their work that they can’t attend meetings. You’ll feel – and sound – fresh and “plugged in,” and that will overcome any doubts.