Q: My fiance and I married in a civil ceremony because of an immigration issue and because we didn’t have enough cash to throw the kind of wedding we really wanted to have. It’s been a couple of years now, and as I watch friends of ours get engaged and married, I can’t help but feel that we missed out. Would it be totally inappropriate to get married again just to have the total wedding experience?

A: Not at all! Since you’re already legally married, it technically would be a vow renewal — a celebration of your marriage where you re-recite your vows and reaffirm your love and commitment to each other. And etiquette-wise, though many couples choose to be a bit more informal with vow renewal ceremonies, there’s no reason why you can’t go all out, from fancy invites to a big white dress.

Q: My parents have offered to pay for our wedding reception with a guest list of 150 people. It was a dream come true — until my fiance announced the list wasn’t big enough for him! He insists on including every last one of his friends (even ones he hasn’t talked to in years), bringing the total up to 200. The size of the site isn’t a problem — it’s my reluctance to ask my parents to cough up the cash for another 50 guests. What should we do?

A: It’s time to put your foot down — this bad boy behavior has got to stop or it

could quickly lead to issues between the two of you and with your families. It’s not going to be pretty, but it’s got to be done. Make some time to sit down with him and go over the wedding details and budget. Simply seeing the sum of what those additional guests will cost may be enough to convince him (and if he insists it’s not a problem, you need to politely explain to him that it is — if your parents are already footing the bill and the guest list has already been evenly divvied up between all parties concerned, then it’s basically a done deal and he needs to learn to live with it).

You should also try to get to the root of why he feels the need for so many guests. Is he worried his friends will think he’s ditching them for the married life? Does he feel he needs to show his loyalty to his entire fraternity? even the guys he wasn’t that friendly with? Demonstrate to him that you’ll support him — and even let him have his weekly or monthly guys’ night out — and you should be able to get your numbers down.

Q: Our wedding isn’t going to be super formal, and we’ve decided not to have inner envelopes in our invitations. My question is this: How should I then address the outer envelopes so singles will know they are welcome to bring a guest with them? I can’t address it to “Mary Jones and Guest,” right?

A: The post office might get a kick out of that one, but you’re right, you shouldn’t address the outer envelopes “and guest.” You’ve basically got two options for tackling the “and guest” mess. On your reply cards, you or your calligrapher can write in the name you know and leave a blank for the name you don’t to indicate that the invitee is allowed a guest. The other (and slightly more correct) way to do this is to call up your single guests to chat — and ask who they plan on bringing to your wedding. Then, simply fill in your guest’s name and their guest’s name on the reply card. You do not need to address the outer envelope to both guests unless they live at the same address (it’ll just mess up their mail carrier — and with the RSVP deadline looming, you won’t want to waste any time on that).

Q: My fiance and I are trying to find some ways to save for our wedding, and since neither of us is a very big dessert eater I have been trying to come up with ways we can save on a wedding cake. One thing I was thinking of (which would save us a bundle) is simply having sheet cakes instead of a traditional tiered cake. I think it’s a great plan, but my fiance thinks guests will find it tacky and possibly even offensive. Yikes! Who’s right?

A: Don’t worry — there’s more than one way to slice a wedding cake these days.

Here’s a little secret: Though you’ll pretty much always see the bride and groom cutting a fancy, tiered cake, many times what guests are served is sheet cakes since (you’re right) that can be a big money saver. How is it done? Sometimes, the bride and groom cut a real wedding cake that’s simply too small to feed all the guests. A two-tier cake still looks impressive, but since it won’t feed that many people (especially if the top tier is being saved for their first anniversary), the majority of what guests are served is the same flavor, the same color and so on, just cut from a sheet cake.

Other times, couples want the look of a truly amazing cake, but balk at the cost,

so they have their designer create a fake cake — icing a full-scale, multi-tier masterpiece that looks incredible but is definitely not edible (it’s usually Styrofoam beneath the frosting). Just enough of it is “real” so that they can make that ceremonial cut, then everyone eats sheet cake (so long as it’s cut back in the kitchen, who’s to know?). Talk to your cake baker or designer about what options will work best for your situation. They may also be able to help you out with other ways to save (for example, choosing one type of adornment over another, or limiting your flavor choices). Lastly, don’t forget that if the two of you really don’t like cake, you don’t have to have it. We’ve seen couples cut everything from pies to cookies — in the end, any dessert will make for a sweet finish to your reception meal.