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Archive for Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Self-proclaimed fool predicts 2007 news

December 26, 2006

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Only fools try to predict the future.

With that in mind, here are my best guesses about what 2007 will bring us:

¢ People will complain that Lawrence isn't as cool as it used to be: Why do I know this? Because that's what happens every year - aging townies sit around and fondly remember some defunct hot spot (or defunct band), then angrily conclude that Lawrence ain't what it used to be.

I'll join in. Remember the Grandma's Omelet at Paradise Cafe? Gosh, I miss that place. This town is going to the pits!

Calm down, relax. You're just getting older. It happens.

¢ I will make fun of Topeka.

¢ Phill Kline will stay in the news: Yeah, he's no longer got a statewide platform. Instead, he's the top law enforcement officer for the most populous county in Kansas. And if history has taught us anything, it's that Kline - who, after all, has lost elections before - doesn't go away.

(And you know what? I wrote those words early Thursday morning - about three hours before Kline filed charges against George Tiller. My powers of prediction are scary, and must be used only for good.)

¢ Jayhawks will win a first-round game in the NCAA Tournament: Because they couldn't lose that first game three years in a row.

Right? Right?

¢ We will be at the center of some "Culture War" debate that legislators in Topeka use as proof that Lawrence is somehow out of touch with the values and concerns of "real" Kansans. These things seem to happen every 12 to 18 months, and it's been about a year since the KU professor tried to teach the "intelligent design as myth" class, which came about a year or so after the "sex professor is showing porn in class" brouhaha.

Never mind that these sorts of things also happen at the other Regents universities - you just never hear about them. KU makes a much better target for these types of dustups than, say, Fort Hays State.

¢ There will be much controversy, and many letters to the editor, about the future of the South Lawrence Trafficway.

¢ There will be much controversy, and many letters to the editor, about Wal-Mart's plans for a store at Sixth Street and Wakarusa Drive.

¢ There will be much controversy, and many letters to the editor, about whichever expansion plan City Hall comes up with for the library.

Not that the news is entirely predictable. Something crazy will happen this year that none of us saw coming that will get the community talking.

Then it will calm down, and I will make fun of Topeka again.

Happy New Year!

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