As you accept gifts this holiday season, it helps keep in mind one of my favorite quotes from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “He is a good man, who can receive a gift well.”

I was reminded of Emerson’s words, taken from his essay “Gifts,” after receiving this note from a reader: “Here’s my personal regifting horror story: Last year, the real estate agent who helped me find a new home gave me housewarming presents when I closed on the property consisting of a set of two knives (I don’t cook and she had no reason to believe I did) and two candles with holders.”

OK, I get it. She received gifts she didn’t like.

She went on to write: “Call me an ingrate if you wish, but this agent made $28,000 off me. Believe me, I would have appreciated it more if she had given me nothing at all rather than let me know how little I meant to her.”

This is a regifting horror story?

Let’s see. A real estate agent – a professional the e-mailer hired who did her job and who was under no obligation to give her client anything – presented this woman with an expensive set of knives (unused) and some nice candles and holders.

For this, the agent deserves a client’s ire?

Perhaps I’m missing something and the person who wrote me has a right to be upset. I mean, everyone knows that some people buying homes with kitchens don’t cook. How thoughtless of the agent to not figure that out. And the audacity of her giving candles and holders bought on sale. How horrible!

This is a prime example of why so many people have anxiety about giving gifts. Instead of seeing the good side of this exchange and that she was blessed in the end with about $120, the reader is complaining.

Why not give the agent the benefit of the doubt? Isn’t it more likely she hoped her customer might be able to use a set of knives and sweet-smelling candles to freshen up the home she just purchased?

I’ve certainly been guilty in the past of not receiving gifts well. But I’ve come to fully appreciate the reason for this season by observing how my 8-year-old son receives gifts. If he got a rock – with the dirt still on it – he would say, “Oh, thank you! This is the best rock I’ve ever gotten!” And he would mean it.

The rule for a gift, Emerson writes, is that it “might convey to some person that which properly belonged to his character, and was easily associated with him in thought.”

We know that won’t always happen. So if you are the type of person who gets hurt or insulted about a gift, also keep these Emerson words in mind: “Some violence, I think, is done, some degradation borne, when I rejoice or grieve at a gift.”

Yes, some people are serially bad gift-givers. Some folks regift when they shouldn’t. Some gifts you get this holiday season will be inappropriate or ghastly in your opinion. But get over it. Have a sense of humor about gift gaffes. Above all, for goodness sake, be grateful.