Psst. The person snoring away in bed next to you is your spouse (yes, women can snore too). We thought you might have forgotten about him or her, since holiday prep work seems to have taken over your existence. Even if it appears your schedule cannot accommodate one more thing, it is possible (and a priority) to show your mate he or she is still the biggest gift you have ever received. And we don’t mean with an actual present. ‘Tis the season to keep the flame between you two burning bright. Here’s how:

1. Start a tradition: The night before a big family gathering is the perfect time to reconnect with each other … alone. Plan a preholiday date that is bound to become tradition – whether it’s grilled cheese at the diner, a snowy stroll through the park or camping indoors with a tent by your fireplace (roast marshmallows without the fear of woodland creatures joining you). The point is to enjoy each other – and only each other – before you loan yourselves out to relatives. When things get crowded across the dinner table, you can feel good knowing you went one-on-one just 12 hours before.

2. Get cookin’: Neither of you needs to be a chef extraordinaire to have fun in a holiday kitchen. If you’re a guest, ask for a task the two of you can work on. It’s a great escape, and your help will be appreciated, to boot. In your own home, institute some holiday fun. Bake goodies you loved as kids or make eggnog from scratch. Enjoy your treats together – nude perhaps?

3. Embrace the weather: Snow becomes a chore when you have to shovel the steps, but this winter, make it a romantic event. Try to catch snowflakes on your tongue and then share a frosty kiss. Or just lie together silently on the ground and watch them fall gently to earth. No snow? No need! Get outside and do something together like window shopping late at night or sledding on the sand dunes.

4. Present something perfect: There are some gifts that make everyone in the room go “Wow!” and others that are meant for your eyes only. Give each other the cashmere sweater or briefcase to open with the gang, but save one small, heartfelt gift to open alone in bed together. We’re not saying the present should be naughty in nature (unless you want it to be); it might be something with meaning that you don’t want to explain to a roomful of nosy aunts and uncles. This also can make a potentially stressful day at the in-laws a bit sweeter.

5. Deck the halls: Give the bedroom a seasonal boost with white twinkling lights strung on the headboard. You’ll both feel like you’re sliding under the covers in a whole new room. That sense of breaking from routine will add excitement to whatever it is you decide to do under those blankets.

6. Picture your life: Get out your photo albums and reminisce. Make sure to pull books that hold images from your days as boyfriend, girlfriend. You will be reminded of how important you are to each other, and the shared memories will come flooding back. If you’re at a relative’s home, ask to see old childhood photos. Snuggle under an afghan and sip hot cocoa while you peruse.

7. Get a tune-up: The long drive for holiday ham can turn into a traffic nightmare. Come prepared with a CD or iTunes song playlist that reminds you of your courtship or of your wedding and honeymoon. Before you know it, you’ll be pulling into the driveway with hoarse voices from all that crooning. Even though you might spend the day on separate sides of the room, you’ll have an added energy boost from your earlier performance.

8. Go for the pass: The office party is a bore, and you both can’t wait to leave. To make the hours go faster, pass your spouse a note on your way to the cheese table. Write about exactly what you want to do with him and the leftover gift-wrap and ribbon when you get home. He might reconsider his schmooze obligations and suggest you cut out early. If there’s one time of year you may find yourself too tired for romance, this is it. But once you put your intentions down on paper, you can’t turn back. Connecting under the sheets will increase your bond in the hectic days to come.

9. Give your time: You’re fortunate to have each other, but not everyone is so lucky. Sign up to play bingo at a nursing home or distribute gifts to kids at a homeless shelter. Find a Project Santa in your hood (the post office can help), and shop together for a present that will make a child have a happy holiday. Volunteering together will allow you to break from routines that might start to seem selfish, and it will bring smiles to new faces.

10. Just say no: Parties and get-togethers are great ways to catch up with special people you haven’t seen in forever, but they can also leave you feeling too pooped to do anything else. The only solution: Tear up those invites! You just do not need to attend every function you are invited to. Think about it: If all of your friends or family will be together drinking eggnog, they won’t be calling you! But use the would-be party time wisely. Take an uninterrupted nap together, go for a walk in the woods or simply get in bed and take the phone off the hook.