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Archive for Sunday, August 27, 2006

Critics call registry for sex offenders vague, unfair

State system makes no distinction between rapists and molesters and young men in a relationship

August 27, 2006

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A state-run web site lets the public see the names and faces of sex offenders living in Kansas. Enlarge video

The other day, Brad Totman says, his wife came home nearly in tears.

Some neighborhood children who play with the couple's 3-year-old daughter had said they couldn't play with her anymore because Totman might "touch them."

The reason: Totman is a registered sex offender, and his picture recently had been published in the local paper in Pittsburg near his home in Mulberry. His crime, which happened in the late 1990s, was having consensual sex with a 15-year-old girl when he was 19.

That girl is now his wife, Kristal. They have been married three years.

Kansas has had an "offender registry" since the mid-1990s, designed to alert the public to the presence of dangerous criminals - mostly sex offenders - in their midst. Offenders must register with the Kansas Bureau of Investigation and keep their name, current address and photo on a public site.

But Totman says it's not fair - and misleading to the public - that the registry paints people like him with the same brush as it paints, say, someone who grabbed a child off the street or broke into a home and raped a person. He says the registry instills fear in the public, without providing any meaningful information about what a person actually did to land himself on it.

Brad Totman with his wife and child.

Brad Totman with his wife and child.

"It's lumping you in with pedophiles and rapists, when in fact it's a consensual thing, especially when you have a continuing relationship with the person," Totman said. "I want to make waves. I want to see changes."

'Way out of proportion'

Sex offenders garner little sympathy in the public eye, and conventional wisdom is that no politician would ever brag about passing laws to make life easier for such a population.

This year, in fact, the Legislature made life harder for people like Totman. The much-touted "Jessica's Law" didn't just increase penalties for child molesters; it required all registered offenders to start visiting their county's sheriff twice a year and paying a $20 fee each time, in addition to the pre-existing requirement to verify their address every 90 days through the mail.

Video

Douglas County chief executive probation officer Ron Stegall comments on the offender-registry law. Enlarge video

The change, which took effect July 1, also increased the penalties for violating the registration law - for example, by failing to send back a letter. That crime is now a level 5 felony that calls for prison time, on par with violent crimes such as involuntary manslaughter.

The changes concern Ron Stegall, Douglas County's chief executive probation officer. He pointed out that the penalty for failing to register was far more serious than that handed down for many of the crimes that required someone to be on the registry in the first place.

"I'm certainly not suggesting there should be no penalty for failing to register," he said. "To me, the penalty is way out of proportion to the crime itself."

A 'wide net'

Totman, for example, was convicted of "lewd and lascivious behavior," a misdemeanor. But if he makes a paperwork mistake, he could go to prison for nearly three years.

Another concern of Stegall's is that the registry makes no distinction between what he called a "really, really bad guy," and a "not-such-a-bad guy" who made a youthful mistake. He's not suggesting that sex with an underage person should be legal - just that the state needs to make a distinction between types of sex crimes.

Kristal Totman talks about her husband, Brad, who's on the offender registry for having sex with her when she was 15.

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"For an 18-year-old who has sex with a 15-year-old, who even gets married to the 15-year-old, that's not the same as a rapist," he said. "There's differences between the severity of these offenses, and I think that's not what's recognized in the law."

House Speaker Doug Mays, R-Topeka, said the Legislature has traditionally "cast a pretty wide net" in determining who's on the registry. He said there had been efforts to try to provide more detailed information about offenders to the public through the site.

Brad Totman's mugshot on the sex offender registry.

Brad Totman's mugshot on the sex offender registry.

"There has been some concern with what is called the 'Romeo and Juliet' relationship, and having individuals with consensual relationships," he said. "I think it's something that has been looked at and continues to be looked at by the Legislature."

Lawrence case

Information wasn't available Friday from the KBI about how many cases on the offender registry are similar to Totman's.

It's clear, however, that his isn't the only case of its kind.

A 25-year-old Lawrence man is on the registry for having sexual contact with his underage girlfriend in May 2003. He was 21, and she was about three months shy of her 16th birthday when police found the two in a compromising position in a car at Oak Hill Cemetery.

She was the younger sister of one of his best friends.

"She kind of pursued me for a relationship. ... I wasn't really what you'd call a 'ladies' man' to begin with," he said. "Any interest from the opposite sex, I wasn't going to deter that."

A crime? Certainly. Under Kansas law, anyone under age 16 is not considered able to consent to sex.

But today, the couple is still together. On a recent afternoon, the man and his girlfriend, who's now 19, sat on the couch of her home near Lawrence High School, her arm draped over his leg.

The man - whose face is on the registry for anyone to see but agreed to talk for this article using only his initials, A.R. - said he knew there were legal risks to their relationship, but he didn't care.

"It was human emotion - just raw human emotion. It wasn't, like, a need for any type of sexual gratification," he said.

Sex-offender therapy

He was convicted of "attempted aggravated indecent liberties with a child," a felony, but was given probation. As one condition, he had to attend sex-offender treatment, where he recalls attending group therapy with some men who fit the more traditional definition of a child molester.

"They're explaining to the counselor their innermost desires. I'm sitting there all meek," he recalled.

When he was asked to describe his sexual fantasies in therapy, he said he recalled thinking, "I have no idea. I don't feel like that, that's for sure."

He was ordered not to have any contact with the girl while he was on probation. But he said he received special permission from the judge to attend her high school graduation.

He has to register until 2009. Early this year, he was convicted of a violation of the registration law. He said it was because he forgot to mail back his letter in time to verify his address.

He was given probation - but that's because his crime happened before the new law took effect. If it had happened a few months later, he might be in prison right now.

His girlfriend says she doesn't feel like she's a victim of anything. Still, he has trouble finding a job in Lawrence because of his listing on the public site.

"To me," he said, "it just seems like it's the new witch hunt."

Comments

diehard25fl 2 years ago

the sex offender laws are all unconstitutional. if you want to be a part of the solution not the problem email me with how your life got affected by these "feel safe" laws and when i get enough people i will file a lawsuit to challenge megan's law in court. we need to collect about $80,000 dollars and we can file a good class action lawsuit that will put these laws on hold for a while. please join the fight. there are too many people that have been sexaully abused by megans law. its time to fight these sexual predators known as legislators and public safety advocates. its time to put these cowards out of business. help join the fight to bring freedom back to america.

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diehard25fl 3 years, 2 months ago

the five people that committed harsh sexual crimes have been punished for life as far as i know. now to just arbitrarily punish the remaining 699,995 people that committed less serious crimes as harshly as those original five people is idiotic. Watch your children and nothing will happen to them. the people that commit really bad crimes are already serving life sentences and we have long prison sentences for anyone that wants to do it now. so we can save $50 million dollars every year by not monitoring 699,995 people that no longer need to be on the public sex offender registry. we all feel bad about anyone being sexually abused but punishing people that committed a crime 61 yrs ago is not the solutiion please read this or listen to this and take action. thanks http://www.change.org/petitions/abolish_the_public_sex_offender_registry

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trav 5 years, 2 months ago

DO NOT POST A BLOG ON THIS SITE UNLESS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SURE YOU WILL NEVER DECIDE TO HAVE IT REMOVED FOR ANY REASON. I HAVE PLEADED WITH THE CONTACTS OF THIS SITE TO REMOVE MY BLOG NUMEROUS TIMES, AND EVEN EXPLAINED THAT THE BLOG HAS PRESENTED A THREAT TO MY LIFE, AND WAS GIVEN THE RESPONSE THAT IT IS AGAINST THE WEBSITES POLICY TO REMOVE ANY BLOGS.

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diehard25fl 5 years, 11 months ago

i want to sue them in all fifty states. my email address is diehard25fl@yahoo.comif youre interested fight with me there is nothing written in the us constitution that says that sex offenders cannot have a right to earn money and place to live as long as they pass laws to deny this right the states have to be fought and fought agressively to this overturned. u cant punish people twice for same crime and these laws do just that. five year registration limit for first time sex offenders and people determined not a risk to society. five years max and info on core removed once five yr term completed. help me fight this in all fifty states now. we need to join together and throw this s&) out the window once and for all. help me in your support of fighting every law on the books in every fifty states to overturn each and every one until they are fair and allow to function in society again. theyve done their time in jail theyve done their probation. no need to deny them basic civil liberties once thats done. its unconstituional needs to be challenged in every city in every state now. fight wiht me now to beat them in court. we need to raise money now aclu cant help us for some reason we need to do it on our own.

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trav 6 years, 3 months ago

This comment was removed by the site staff for violation of the usage agreement.

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weluvbowling 6 years, 10 months ago

To those of you who have been the victim and still able to move forward in life and become someone, I applaud you! To those who have taken pity for themselves, STOP, know that you ARE still a person and can still become someone because you do matter!

For those that have committed the molestation, rape, murder, and other heinious crimes of such nature whether they be convicted or still "on the loose" my only hope is that one day God does sentence you to burn in hell forever as you are the ones who have made "sex" the "dirty word" that it has become to some people today. YOU ARE SICK INDIVIDUALS!

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weluvbowling 6 years, 10 months ago

I also understand that there is Freedom of Speech and Religion but if you look at most of your serial killers you will notice that at some point in their life they had someone like GOPConservative in their life who made them feel as though "sex" was a very bad thing and that you were punished for it if caught and that you would burn in hell for doing so. You may want to do a google search on individuals such as Ed Gein, John George Haigh, "Wild Bill" Hickman, John Allen Muhammed, and this is just to name a few.

Don't get me wrong, my Mother is a Preacher, but this individual is OUT THERE! With all of the begatting in the Old Testament and the book of Genesis you would think the world would have been extinct before we had gotten this far in life if you burned in hell having sex out of wedlock. I think some people carry their Religion too far sometimes and try to force their beliefs on other individuals. Every Religion and every individual has their own "interpretation" of the Bible and everyone thinks that their "interpretation" is accurrate. Who knows what is right and what is wrong? I do believe in God and trust him in every way but if sex was meant to be "dirty" then why were we put on earth naked and why on earth was woman AND man created? Man/woman made sex "dirty" and man/woman makes the world into the cruel place that it is and can be today.

I have always felt that you should not judge an individual until you have walked a mile in their shoes and even then at what time were you made judge and jury? I believe that the only way you find out the truth of situations is by inquiry and if you do not inquire of all parties involved the accused is not getting a fair trial.

I would like to think that my life experiences have made me the strong woman that I am today. When you are handed the difficult tasks in life you can either let them consume your daily thoughts and emotions or you can stand tall, take a deep breath and make the best of every moment that God has given you and use it to your advantage. I would like to think that I have done the latter of the two. Unfortunately some victims of molestation are not as fortunate or strong as I have been referred to many of times.

I believe that even God forgives, which is what I told my Mother about the occurrences as a child. I told my Mother, Mom, it's forgiven, however, it is not forgotten. One day they will have to answer before God and he knows the truth. He is the judge and jury not you or I.

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weluvbowling 6 years, 10 months ago

As far as girls dating older boys, I was 17 and was dating a 23 year old. The drive-in was still in town. We would go every week and every week he tried and tried to have sex but he never succeeded in his task. He eventually went back to an ex, married her and from what I am told, molested their child/children. Now, this is hearsay but I am glad my relationship never went any further with this person. I don't blame my parents for allowing me to date him. That was my decision and my judgement was trusted in most situations.

Now, I do know that there are situations and individuals on this list that maybe should not be there on the severity that they are persecuted. Take for instance the individuals living, with parental consent, with their girl/boyfriend in the home of the parents. The girl/boyfriend decides they don't want to date the person anymore so they scream statutory rape instead of just ending the relationship. How is this possible? These individuals will now live with that title forever. I witnessed one of these cases first hand with a neighbor. That is just wrong in every way imaginable. I also agree that the boys are not always at fault here. I feel that these parents who allow these boys/girls to move in and "sleep" with their children are as much at fault as the person "committing the offense". It is poor parenting skills and immoral which eventually leads to the children not having morals as adults...if this keeps up eventually the world will have no morals.

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weluvbowling 6 years, 10 months ago

This is going to be a multi post as I could not post it all in one and before I begin I apologize for getting off on such a tangent but there are so many emotions and feelings that come to my mind on this topic that I cannot even begin to cover them all in one post. Therefore, I tried to stick with the comments that have been made at this time. I am sure that I am not the only one who could run away with this topic for days on end and still not say everything that you feel should be said.

Being an individual who was molested as a child (by a father and an ex step father) I truly have mixed emotions on the topic at hand. And just an FYI, these two individuals were never put on trial or prosecuted. One is a business owner in Lawrence and the other a business owner in Rockport, TX. The individual in Rockport, TX is my Father...he was 23 when my Mom was 15 and got pregnant with me and was forced to marry. He was, and still is, a pedophile, a child molester, a monster, a person who should bear watching and there is nothing I can do about it...I repeat NOTHING! If there were I would do it in a heart beat.

I would like to start by stating that my first thought is that all child molesters should have their what knots nailed to the floor and yanked up on by the victim and if the victim is too small to do so then by each family member close to that child. In regards to the female offenders, we would have to think of another approach to the yanking ritual. Now, I do believe that there can be "consentual sex" between teenagers...not that I condone this but let's face it, it is happening every day and getting younger every year. At what age do we draw the line? How much of a span do we allow? I have no idea and that is partly because I don't condone it. At the age of 14-15, yes, we THINK we know what love is. The truth is we have no idea! Even at 18 (almost 19) I don't think I truly knew the meaning of love and I was married.

I have a 21 year old son and an almost 13 year old daughter and the things that my daughter and her friends tell me that girls and boys are doing is flabbergasting. These are things that I never would have thought about doing with a boy in Junior High or High School. Thank God my daughter does not like to hear the mention of the "S" word as she calls it.

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pgngrl 7 years ago

As a mother of a 15 year old girl, I have to say "times they are a changin" Girls didn't look the way they do now 10 years ago. Girls also mature faster than boys, and they look for boys that don't want to play all of the mind games. As for 14 year old boys don't really think about sex, that is a load of crap. Kids these days watch t.v., listen to music, and go out of their homes, they are surounded by sex. I have friends that had babies at the age of 14, I know girls now that are the same age and are still having babies. Sex is every where you go these days. I believe that there should be laws against sex crimes, but I don't believe that every boy that sleeps with a girl is a sex offender. A four year age difference is a reasonable idea. A girl starts dating a boy her freshman year and he is a 17 year old senior,they are together for a full year and the bot then turns 18 should the kids be made to break up because he is now over 18? I say "NO" they are still four years apart. Teens aren't as inmature as some of you would like to think. I know people that have been together since they were 14-15 years old that are now married with children of their own. I believe it should be at the descretion of the parents. After all we know our kids better than the politicians do.

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don_burgess 7 years ago

sublime - you are turning me on! As a matter of fact - this whole article is hot!

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sublime 7 years, 5 months ago

17 year old boys are not the victims of 19 year old girls.17 year old boys will" take" anything they can get thier hands on.

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offtotheright 7 years, 6 months ago

And what if your 19 year old daughter who can't keep her legs together, has sex with a 17 year old BOY?

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sublime 7 years, 6 months ago

I am glad sex offenders have to register.This story should be a testamony to young men who can't keep it in thier pants.If you like to screw little girls under the age of 18,then you deserve to"be painted with that brush''.You obviously have no self control.If a 19 year old boy had sex with my daughter,registry would be the least of his problems.

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derwin 7 years, 7 months ago

You are right about the politicians I have wrote several articles about teen sex offenders in the Ottawa Herald and have sent letters to our representatives. I had one to respond by post card he said how he was going to try to make a new law . About 2 weeks later a reporter from the Ottawa Herald contacted him about this . Talk about a quick turn around. When he wrote me back he told me that he would not make a new law and was very negative .

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

Well spoken above writer. Dont think for a second that we are not going to go that way with it. Soon there will be a list for everything. And the only people left alowed to harm children will be the police who are authorized to beat them senseless for minor infractions. Ther eis no restriction on civil legislation, there isnt anything anyone can do to stop them as anyone trying to do what is right will be ridiculed out of the picture, and any politician will be jobless. The lunatic fringes of the RIght and Left lead this country. Isnt Kansas where they choose to through out Darwin in favor of the book of Genesis?

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ZMan 7 years, 7 months ago

This is in regards to the sex offender and meth cooker registries.

Why are they picking on sex offenders and meth cookers?

Hell, make ALL criminal records public information.

I'm sure EVERYONE would like to know if a murderer, drug user/dealer, gang member, drunk, bank robber, burglar, etc lives in their neighborhood.

Why are we singling out sex offenders and meth cooks?

If you do it for 1 or 2 groups, that is discrimination.

To be fair, make ALL criminal records public info.

This is all political, all for votes!!!!!!!

Stop the hate people, before I get God on your ass!!! :)

Next will be concentration camps to throw all the evil doers into.

"The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation. " -Mein Kampf, Adolf Hitler, Publ. Houghton Miflin, 1943, Page 403

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

I wish I new the answer there. Politicians cant be seen as giving one inch even if it is right. Any attempt to set it straight will be used against them in the media and next election time. What will be required honestly is a backroom " I dont come after you, you dont come after me from politicians" How ever, I still dont think this solves a thing. Politicians are lead by the fringes. Who screams the loudest gets the result. What will it take? Maybe when their 17 year old is caught with a 16 year old girl. I dont really know. I dont think we should legalize it per say because there needs to be a line. But we can draw a line at the list, who is on it and for how long. Any one who wants to see change though will find themselves against the wall. Logic does NOT prevail in politics.

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derwin 7 years, 7 months ago

I read about the former Ottawa movie theater owner that was sentence of 10 years . He filmed himself and a 15 yr. old girl having sex along with having child porn. This man was a danger but now out teens will be lumped in with him they deserve better. They should not have the same label.

to harrycoin : I would like any suggestions you could give me . We need to get something going

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

Maybe the post should start with a disclaimer?

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davisnin 7 years, 7 months ago

how outrageous of a statement do you need on here to let people know its sarcasm?

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moxxie_mama 7 years, 7 months ago

Observer, parents aren't the problem in most of these cases. A kid is able to find a way no matter how good the parents are- there is always some point where a teen isn't going to have 24 hour supervision.

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derwin 7 years, 7 months ago

Consensual sex amoung teenagers should not be a sex offence crime. The sabrinaweill.com site has several different polls showing that there is a large percentage of teenagers are having some kind of sexual relations. I don't believe in this but it is still happening. I graduated from high school in 1961, and it was happening then even with some of what they called the teenagers from the well to do familys. I believe it is wrong to use our legal system to try and controll this. The families that have money can usually afford the lawerys that can get them off or greatly get the charges reduced. The teenage that can not afford these have to take a court appointed lawery. There are some that can do a good job but if you get one that can not find their way out of a paper sack ,your out of luck. If you have had to deal with this you will find that if your a male being charged, then the girls background can not be brought up. Also there are a lot more males getting the charges against them than females that have done the same type of offence. If we are going to charge all the teenages that are having consensual sex we will need to raise taxes to pay for the legal system and to increase prison capacity. When these people have even served their time in prison they will have a feloney charge against them and a registered sex offender. Try to go out and find a job, nobody wants to hire a sex offender, it is very difficult. So now they will be homeless or have to go on welfare if they can. This again will take more taxes to take care of them. We have to get involved to change this. We need to contact our state senators and representatives and even the governer. We need to have the press involved as this story has. I believe most of the parents of the teenagers are not aware of how the laws that have made it possible to charge the true sexual preditor are being used by these district attorneys to charge the teenage consensual sex as a crime. We need to know what lawyers are doing a better job of getting these teenagers off. One thing I have heard from some parents that have had their teenages charged with sexual crimes is what lawers do we get. If you have had a positive experience with a lawery this needs to be sharied. We also need to know what our state law makers take on this is. This information needs to be compiled so it can be sharied by the people needing it. Remember, change starts by one person,then it moves to a group and then it spreads. We have set up a e-mail to start collecting this information and we can grow from this. The address is consensualsexneedschanged@yahoo.com

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derwin 7 years, 7 months ago

I know of an 18 yr. old teenager that is serving 44 months in prison for having consensual sex. This girl was 2 months from her 14th birthday her mother allowed this 18 yr. old to live with her and her daughter sleep in the same bed with the girl and keep his clothes there. The mother knew about the relationship and knew that they were having sex she never objected to the relationship or the sex. This 18 yr. old thought he was in love with the girl and she with him . The girl was clearly a participant. mom never had any charger filed against her. Why wasn't this mother held responsible?

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pittsburg_26_m 7 years, 7 months ago

I think the law will change in the next year. Its becoming too much of a political "bandwagon" issue. And the opposition is to the younger folks on their for consensual crimes. Eliminate that opposition by changing it to a 4 year maximum age difference and several are going to come off the registry, Totman included (the morning sun letter mentions a 3 1/2 year age difference).

Thats one way to win elections.

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bunnyhawk 7 years, 7 months ago

forget the registry...........let's go for castration and branding!!!

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Linda Endicott 7 years, 7 months ago

How many people believe that a 30 year old knows the difference between "love" and lust?

The same thing happens all the time with two adults. But if it's consensual, the former girlfriend can't have her former boyfriend arrested as a sex offender just because they had sex and she decided later on that she didn't love him, after all.

A lot of adults have difficulty with the concept of love, and infatuation. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with age, or mental capacity.

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justthefacts 7 years, 7 months ago

As for being "in love" - how many people believe that a 14-15 knows when they are truly in love? Most of the time? All of the time? Rarely?

The theory behind child sex laws is that the child really can't make very good decisions for themself or protect themselves against all harms that may come their way. So society passes laws that attempt to make it against the law to take advantage of the realitive inexperience of minors (and we ALL know exceptions - girls who are 13 who look, act and live as hard as any 30 year old are becoming FAR too common). But over all, society has chosen to say "If she is under age, do not mess with her" in the hopes that men who ARE responsible (normally) will leave her alone until after she turns 18 (or vice versa!). If you do mess with children (under the age of 18) and you are a legal adult (over the age of 18) you risk prosecution. Pure and simple rule.

If you disagree with that policy , by all means advocate to get the laws changed.

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justthefacts 7 years, 7 months ago

MOST of the time (not all) criminal prosecutors decline to press charges (using prosecutorial discretion) when it is a clear case of "romeo and juliet" of kids in the same age range. 99.9% of the time if there are two kids under the age of 18 who are having sex, the authorities do not want to get involved. A matter will go to court more often if one of the parties (male or female) is over the age of 18, while the other one is under that age (the younger the more seriously its taken).

If you have ever been the parent of a 15 year old girl who is "doing it" with her 17 year old boy friend, you know how hard it is to get a proecutor to bring that to court.

The reason the registry was put in place was to provide the public with a list of those who get convicted (or plead out). The reason they get convicted is b/c they have been found (or have agreed) to have violated the laws in place at the time.

If you want to see the laws changed, talk to your lawmakers. But remember, any time you create a loop hole for having sex with minors, the MBLA and pedophile crowd are cheering.

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Linda Endicott 7 years, 7 months ago

If it was consensual sex between two teenagers, why should they have to register at all? It's not like they're pedophiles, and a danger to people's children.

Pedophiles are a whole different kind of animal than what we're talking about here. I wasn't talking about rapists, either.

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

I wouldnt suggest that a 19 year old haveing sex with a 14 year old isnt at that tipping point of being off.maybe 14 to 17? But. What I would suggest is tough yes it can still be illegal to do it. However, I would suggest these people in this age bracket be seen in a differant light than the rest of the people on the sex offenders list. Bty either not making them register or letting them off withing a few years. I think in Missouri it is two years. That seems resonable.

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observer 7 years, 7 months ago

moxxie_mama, great idea. tell the idiotic parents of these girls to do their job as parents. No law is needed.

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moxxie_mama 7 years, 7 months ago

Just the facts, I agree that is their thing. However, I think most people agree that 'love' is a different matter. There are many who dated older boys who weren't taken advantage of in the least. I would say there should be an age limit, say, 4 years for girls over the age of 14.

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swbsow 7 years, 7 months ago

However, the "Romeo and Juliet" clauses do not apply if you are gay. See info on Matthew Limon. There is no reduction in penalty for homosexuals even though the SCOTUS has struck down sodomy laws.

I bring this up because there is an awful lot of assumption that these things only affect heterosexual teens.

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justthefacts 7 years, 7 months ago

The men who join and support MBLA (Man Boy Love Association) are actively promoting an international change in sexual consent laws - calling for the reduction and/or complete abolition of any age limit by which society has chosen to protect children from those older persons who wish to have sex with them. And there is a similar agenda for the pedophiles who prey on young females.

The tactic they use is to argue that children's rights are violated; they should be free to choose lovers at any age. That's right; they want us to allow anyone to have sex with a child of any age.

If you don't believe me, try googling their web sites. This group of international pedophiles wants society to allow children to have sex with whomever, with no age limits. The decision should be up to the two people having the sex; it's no one else's business (so the argument goes).

So good luck with your attempts to get the laws changed to allow 19 year old males to have sex with 13-15 year olds. You are allying yourselves with MBLA and people of similar ilk.

While that age difference may not shock or offend all of you, I wonder how many who support that age difference in partners are in fact the parents of young girls that age?

And if you are the parent of a young girl whom you whole-heartedly permit having sex with a man of that age, or older, may I suggest a move to Thailand? She can support your whole family.

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

For Pittsburg_26_m Under the Adam Walsh act There is a clause called the Amy Zyla or Amy Xyla expansion. I dont have the text of the bill handy so you will need to google it. But under the expansion its something like this. A person convicted of a sexual offense where age of consent comes into play. Shall not be considered or required to register under this act provided the following. The victim is not less than 14, the suspect is not more than 19, no force was involved. Though it is still a crime, Under the adam walsh act the feds dont require them to register. http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/F?c109:5:./temp/~c109YBsMW0:e11324: it is under declaration of purpose section 102 item 5 letter c. Now this law isnt in affect yet, nor are states required to follow it , but for the sake of the federal list they wont be included.

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Linda Endicott 7 years, 7 months ago

Prosecuting cases that involve two teenagers is simply a waste of time and money. It's ludicrous to think that every male of 18 or 19 that had a younger girlfriend is a pedophile.

As for those he said/she said cases...I've read of many a rape case where the man was convicted in those cases. I read about one where the only "evidence" they had was the victim's testimony that the man charged was her attacker. He was convicted and spent years in prison, and was finally released because DNA tests proved he could not have been the rapist.

But the victim still swore it was him, even after DNA proved her wrong. This is how reliable eyewitness accounts are.

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pittsburg_26_m 7 years, 7 months ago

where does it state in the federal law on the victim over 14 and less than 4 years age? Not saying its not there but would like to see it!

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

AS mentioned before,some states have laws that include provisions for age of consent cases. Like the federal law on the matter. If the victim in the matter is 14 or over and no more than 4 years separate the victim from the suspect . The offender often is sometimes not required to register or required for little time relative to other offenders, But Georgia is not such a state

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HesterPrynne 7 years, 7 months ago

The driven snow has blade trails marks in it.

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justthefacts 7 years, 7 months ago

The man's picture is in the paper - why? Because someone found it on-line and posted it? Or because he and his family came forward to complain about the current laws?

As for proving you did not commit a crime - there is the presumption of innocence, and for every "Lewd and Lacivious = peeing in the alley" charge that goes forward and sticks, you can find an equal or greater number of rape charges that get dropped or lowered. Why? Because in almost every rape case the evidence is simply "he said/she said". That's why there are so very few rape charges actually tried. Check it out. Ask any seasoned sex prosecutors how many rape cases get tried in a year's time as oppossed to how many times people get accused. The prosecutor knows that if the accused is even half way credible in denying the charge, the rape charge won't result in a conviction (without other evidence besides the victim's testimony). So, if someone did NOT commit the rape, and they fight it by going to trial, the chances are HIGH they will not be convicted.

The paper's lack of accuracy in reporting a story does not mean that the sex registration laws are messed up. It means the news reporter's story isn't accurate.

Sounds like your experience was personal and not pleasant. But if the problem is with what the laws state, not what the court's decide, you may want to talk to lawmakers about making some things legal (or less criminal) in nature!

And finally, I did not have sex until I was married, at age 20. So no, I would have not worried about it as a teen. But, my siblings didn't follow that rule. But in choosing their partners, none of them had sex with someone years older or younger. And 99.9% of all prosecutions for sex with under-aged teens involves an older (by years) male.

The object is not to keep girls pure as the driven snow until they turn 18 and can legally consent. The object is to keep older men from having sex with younger girls. If you do not like that law, get it changed. If you do like that law, support the efforts to enforce it.

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swbsow 7 years, 7 months ago

kmt6450,

Check your sarcasm meter. It is broken.

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Linda Endicott 7 years, 7 months ago

justthefacts, ask anyone who has ever been accused of a sex crime whether they believed they had a snowball's chance in h*ll of getting the charges dropped, regardless of the circumstances or what the accused said or tried to say during trial.

Almost everyone anymore has the mindset that if someone is accused of a crime, especially a sex crime, that no matter how much they deny it, they must really be guilty. Surely you realize that? If you don't have the money for a top-notch attorney, chances are you will be convicted of that sex crime, even if you didn't do it.

It IS a witch hunt. And there is no distinction made on most sex-offender registries between "crimes" related to teenage consensual acts, and those more serious acts committed by true pedophiles.

I know a man who was convicted of lewd and lascivious behavior. He was 18 at the time, and had consensual sex with his girlfriend, who told him she was 18. She was really 15, and her father objected.

Now, how many of you could pick the one 18-year-old out of a lineup of teenage girls? Not one of you, I'll bet. Many girls look older, or dress older, when they're not, and vice versa. And please don't go by photo ID. There are enough fake ones floating around out there to make your head swim.

Recently this man's picture was shown in the local newspaper, along with what he was convicted of. He is now 26. It listed the age of his victim as 15. Now, although the website of registered offenders may list his age at the time of the crime, the newspaper made no such distinction, and of course made it sound much worse than it was. He never did this again, registers faithfully, and is still considered trash by all who don't know him.

I think that, if everyone here was being totally truthful, there is not one single person on these boards, man or woman, who didn't have sex as a teenager, at age 16 or younger, and who couldn't be considered a sex offender by the current standards.

And if you want to keep your girls pure as the driven snow until age 18, you'd better lock them in a chastity belt and keep the key. But the state would probably consider that abuse, so be careful.

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pittsburg_26_m 7 years, 7 months ago

BTW those offenders are also required to renew their drivers license yearly now.

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kmt6450 7 years, 7 months ago

GOP Conservative,

Isn't America great? You have freedom of religion, and from your comments I can see you exercise that right. You have also exercised your right to freedom of speech. What you don't have the right to do is tell everyone else how to live their lives and force your opinion/beliefs on others. You also don't have the right to tell someone they are a bad person when they don't share your beliefs, just as I would not say you are a bad person. That is disrespectful and rude.

You made the comment that "That label should follow him for the rest of his life, and the boy should also do hard time for his sinful behavior. No one should be having sex anyway unless he/she has been saved and married in a legitimate church by a minister who has the courage to teach kids about hellfire and the fear of God.."

There are many who do not share that opinion, and should not have to live their lives accoring to your beliefs. In pushing your beliefs on other I believe that you are no better then Fred Phelps or Osama Bin Laden. They both believe with so much passion, that they are correct and no one else is right, and they hurt many people on their path of "righteousness" and I'm sure you would agree that their actions are not acceptable.

You stated that "Even if a 16 year old boy is involved with a 15 year old girl, he is a sex offender." Using this as a guidline would no doubt casue even more overcrowding in America's prisons and expose those individuals to unmentionable horrors in those prisons. You wouldn't be solving a problem, you'd be creating a new generation of psychologicaly damaged young men. After serving their "hard time" they would bemore inclined to commit acts that would get them right back into the prison system.

In another post you have also commented, "Wasting tax dollars trying to enforce the unenforceable is a double whammy to our tax system and a perfect example of the fiscal liberalism and big-government socialism that has taken over my Party." And "Taking a position that everything is "either/or" with no shades of grey is a characteristic of those who belong to the extremist churches." But you say in this post that "We have to draw a line. We need to set an example. There are no shades of grey when it comes to sex."

Which is it? I think throughout your posts you have made several conflicing remarks. I'm beginning to think you're someone with too much time on their hands to sits around and posts just to cause conflict among others and get people riled up.

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pittsburg_26_m 7 years, 7 months ago

BTW you can get married at age 15...

Under the legislation, requested by Gov. Kathleen Sebelius, a 15-year-old could marry only if a district court judge decided it was in that person's best interest.

Those who are 16 or 17 could marry if they met one of three conditions: permission from a parent or legal guardian and judicial consent; permission from both parents and any legal guardian; or permission from judge if the parents are dead and there is no legal guardian.

It used to be (prior to 2006):

Male: 14 parental consent and/or permission of judge required

Female: 12 parental consent and/or permission of judge required.

How bizarre is that?

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pittsburg_26_m 7 years, 7 months ago

It does not make a distinction. Look at lewd and lascivious behavior and the criminal definition. It extends to even exposing one's self in public. How much more vague could that be?

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justthefacts 7 years, 7 months ago

Bottom line (for me) the lead into this piece "State system makes no distinction between rapists and molesters and young men in a relationship" is incorrect/false and misleading itself.

The registry DOES distinguish between the types of crimes. The list itself tells you what the conviction(S) were for, and when!

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pittsburg_26_m 7 years, 7 months ago

BTW some of you may look into age of consent laws in certain states. It was always a universal 16 and at one time was 14-15 in several states.

Hawaii was 14 until 2000, i believe. So were several others around that time including Missouri, Iowa, North Carolina. Canada is still at 14. Not that I agree with it being 14 and think 16 is fine but to consider a slightly older guy a sex offender is a complete joke. The only people who could possibly think it isn't are extreme righties and people who can't/couldn't get laid at that age.....;) lol

Don't blame these senior guys with your freshman girls. Blame your lack of parenting.

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justthefacts 7 years, 7 months ago

Whether he should have been prosecuted/convicted or not is not the issue as it relates to registration laws.

The sex offense laws are written to protect those who are not able to protect themselves (i.e. often children). The law makers change and amend them often. But when in effect, the person(s) thus convicted (like Mr. Totman) had his chance THEN to defend against the charges. If he pled out and/or was convicted, he has been found to have violated the law(s). That horse is now out of the barn.

If you think the law(s) should be changed, to allow such conduct to occur or limit the prosecutors' discretion in bringing charges, talk to your lawmakers about getting the sex crime laws loosened, changed, elmininated. But it won't help him. He's already got the conviction.

If he is upset with the registration laws, he should lobby to get those changed (which it appears is what he's doing). But good luck - and he cannot move to another state and get a better deal.

The SOR laws (sex registration laws) are in all the states (see http://codeamber.org/sor.html for links to other states). There is a national effort to keep predators identified so they cannot move from state to state re-offending etc. If someone only offends and/or is convicted once, the registry will show that.

Thus, Mr. T. and his family can point to the facts (see, it was years ago, only once, AND I married her) and that may take care of most rational person's concerns.

However, if you are the parent of a 14-15 year old daughter, wouldn't you like to know if they are dating someone who has already been convicted of rape etc?

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pittsburg_26_m 7 years, 7 months ago

Some facts that were misreported: The charge was a felony for Totman. Also he was 18 in summer 1998 when they began dating. Also she (and her mother) led him to believe she was 16.

There is a letter to the editor from him here: http://www.morningsun.net/

You will have to register (free, like here). You can search for Totman in the search box.

I would've copied his whole letter but its over 10,000 characters and way over the 3000 limit on here.

Cheers!

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

"FYI - even if this information was not posted on a web site, conviction information about any individual is 100% open. So anyone wanting to know, could contact law enforcement and find out about convictions."

In most cases yes, Those with misdemeanors convicted under Suspended imposition of sentance have sealed cases. And are open to the public.

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justthefacts 7 years, 7 months ago

http://www.accesskansas.org/kbi/

Check out the actual facts - Go to the site and see what is posted on it.

In addition to a name, picture and address, this site shows the offense for which a person was convicted (even if it was due to a plea agreement) It lists the dates of the conviction. It even shows if there was a child under the age of 16 involved.

So the reporting laws give information on the severity of the crime. E.g. there is a difference between Lewd and lacivious and rape. And if you can read, the list shows what crime was committed.

That kind of data should help anyone trying to figure out if someone is REALLY bad (or just slipped up once).

FYI - even if this information was not posted on a web site, conviction information about any individual is 100% open. So anyone wanting to know, could contact law enforcement and find out about convictions.

Besides being on the list, for those convicted of certain crimes after 1996, anyone who is on it has to do is keep the authorities informed of where they are living.

If you have a child or are afraid for your own safety, it is one way to figure out if you should allow Mr. Friendly to date your teen or baby-sit!

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jafs 7 years, 7 months ago

Interesting comments - I guess I'm not surprised at the passion around this issue. The "point" of laws regarding the age of consent, it seems to me, is to protect younger children who are incapable of "consent" by virtue of their age/immaturity. It is, of course, arbitrary to pick a number (16 or 25) at which people become mature enough to understand what sexual relations involve. But it's kind of the best that we can do with such a wide variety of maturity levels at all ages. Having said that, I do think there are distinctions to be made between different levels of "sex crimes", and that information regarding the level of offense should be easily available to the public.

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trinity 7 years, 7 months ago

i totally agree acg.

good lordie be, if anybody wants to get hip to what teenage girls-and boys-are like today, just pull up some facebook or myspace; it'll curl your hair, if it isn't already! too many kids actin' grown, that's all there is to it.

once again-parents, where ya be?!

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frankzappa 7 years, 7 months ago

all male sex offenders should have their dicks cut off with an old pair of rusty scissors .. which they then should be forced to wear on a chain around their necks to remind them of the rotten stinking perverts they are

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acg 7 years, 7 months ago

I concur biggunz. How ridiculous. Don't any of you remember being a teenager? I think they should stop putting kids like this, people who pee in public and streakers on the sex offender list. It ruins lives and these people didn't necessarily commit a serious crime. There's a major difference between this guy's situation and a serious sex offender. I remember being a 15 year old girl, too and sometimes the girls are just as guilty of initiating an encounter, or more so, than the guy. Just because she may be shy of 16th birthday doesn't make her innocent or virginal.

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biggunz 7 years, 7 months ago

"Brad Totman did not "have consensual sex" with his girlfriend, he raped a 15-year-old girl, when he was a 19-year-old adult. He should have served a prison term before being branded a sex offender for the rest of his life"

you are an idiot!

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Dayna Lee 7 years, 7 months ago

Everyone just needs to take a minute and meet their neighbors. I find it crazy that this woman let her kids play at this persons house before looking into the registry. It's easy to just say kids don't go near that house. But, it's even easier to ask the guy or the wife the real story. Heck, ask the guy on the other side and see what he's heard. This man has to pay the price for his actions and that just means admitting to his mistakes. What he is doing now is trying to make it seem that he has not made one. Shame on the LJW for helping him.

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

6 Retro active registry. 30 some odd states have this. Lets say your convicted in 82 of fooling around with your girlfriend. In 95 96 they pass a law that says hey, you got convicted way back when your on a list. Never mind that person may not even have a ticket over those next 14 years/ He/She must register. I dont feel thats right 7 Relavent to number 6, They start this with sex offenders. Then it spreads. Lets say you were arrested in 1990 for ( insert drug). You do your time, probation, parole what ever. Then some genious decides that drug addiction , like sexual aversion is incurable. You can never be trusted again. Now we must put you on a list. That should give EVERYONE a pause for concern. 8 Federal law, The new Adam Walsh Act will soon kick in. Now in this is something that makes sense. Its called the Amy Zyla expansion of the law. Under this, anyone convicted of misdmeanor sexual misconduct where age of consent is in play. SO long as no force was used and the victim and suspect are withing 4 years of each other. Will NOT be considered a sex offense under this act. Now, if the Feds can see the error there, it should not be hard for the rest of us to see it. Some here may not like it but, You arent required too. Such law gives the states an out in being "easy " on lesser offenses as they are just falling in line with the feds. 9 A reason why states have issues with making sense of the laws beside getting votes. For every person on the list the state gets money for it. You might say they are compelled to list more and more people.

Now I have read some posts from people here that range from the insane, to beign so crazy I think their post was simply an exercise in satire. To suggest that we all just follow God or any other moral book of life is ignoreing the issue, not fixing it. A few things for sure, reaching back into history. About half of us here could be on that list. and if we dont work to make some changes, About 1 million plus of our kids could be on that list yearly. Lets be heavy where we all agree we need to be heavy. But lets use some common sense before those on the list outnumber those who are not.

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harrycoin 7 years, 7 months ago

It seems opinions in here run the gambit of intelect in the least. In being fair, the original point and purpose of the SOR was to protect people(mainly kids) from those that would harm them. Now we can go on all day about is it fair?, does it work?,Who should be on it? And punishment for failure to keep current on information. Now for the sake of logical discourse lets separate the group up a little bit for distinction. We will call one group "Predators" the other "sex offenders" When I think of Predators, I think of the folks that molest kids, rape women, generaly do physical harm to other human beings. Sex offenders I see as other, some are worthy of a watchful eye. Others, well, I can think of no real reason to brand for life two teenaged kids, or the guy who pees behind a tree. Should they be on "the list" I dont see why not, Should they be given the means to escape it. I surely think so. Again I wont go into the moral aspect of it but I will look at some discrepancies In the law and laws.

  1. How many folks on this list are misdemeanor offenses. I have seen anywhere from 35 to 45% 2 How many people could be on it? Some disturbing numbers here.http://blogs.kansascity.com/crime_scene/teen_sex_problem_mounting/index.html Now on this site I see a few disturbing numbers. Of 15 year olds in the survey having sex. between boys and girls it is somewhere around 40 to 45 % for each gender. By the stated graph that would make 1,349,128 New sex offenses per year!! Now keep in mind those kids cant have sex. Also keep in mind if those 15 year olds have sex with each other, they can both be charged and often are. 3 Age of consent. This is an arbitrary age set by politicians. http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm AS you can see there just in the US the age of consent varies from state to state. What may be illegal in one state is legal in another. We need some universal standard here for clearing the gray area. 4 Treatment under the law. Woman are less often to be tried or forced to register, In a series on the web I saw this which I thought was totaly BS. http://www.salem-news.com/articles/august182006/silly_sex_laws_81806.php Men register but women do not? 5 The laws aimed at offenders change constantly. Today your in the limits tomorrow your a felon because you didnt see the new law that passed.
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HesterPrynne 7 years, 7 months ago

Boys are bad and pinning isn't everything it's been built up to be.

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whistlestop75 7 years, 7 months ago

If you would bring up the offenders website and check the surrounding counties you will find women on the predator website...these little girls grow up to still be after the "young" guys...

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observer 7 years, 7 months ago

confrontation, are you extrapolating your own experiences with men onto all men? Have you had multiple marriages or relationships where you felt mistreated or abused? Have you ever had any male children and experienced the stalking of them by these sweet little darlings?

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swbsow 7 years, 7 months ago

hottruckinmama -

They have to find a Daguerreotype (sp?) or something along those lines to put up on the website!

That was considered a good marriage back then.

A lot of people seem to be blaming boys here. Are boys completely incapable of controlling their "urges"? You don't give a whole lot of credit to the male part of our species.

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hottruckinmama 7 years, 7 months ago

confrontation...i wasn't aware that many 15 and 16 year old girls had boundries anymore. i have a 16 year old son and believe me the girls in his class are a lot more um..advanced then my son and his friends. do you even have kids? have you a clue what you are talking about? have you seen any 15 or 16 year old girls in action in the last few years?

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observer 7 years, 7 months ago

Confrontation, what about this sweet innocent little girls who STALK the 18, 19 and older males? The little girls who dress and try to act older and more worldly? And last but not not least the mothers who allow or in many cases encourage this behavior?

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Confrontation 7 years, 7 months ago

There is no 19 year old man who would do his part to respect a 15 or 16 year old girl's boundaries. They would tell her what she wants to hear and push her to start having sex well before she would have otherwise. If they weren't interested in taking advantage of little girls, then they would get with someone more mature and out of high school.

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hottruckinmama 7 years, 7 months ago

swbsow..i'd keep it under my hat if i were you. you would not believe how many people don't understand that this kind of thing went on in the old days. honest to god i think this one man would have had my grandpa declared a sex offender posthumorously (spelling?) if he could have. i mean he went totally ape sh#t. and all my poor old grandpa ever did was work his butt off to support and raise his family and never took a hand out from anyone.

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swbsow 7 years, 7 months ago

He was also a Civil War pensioner so that was considered a good catch in those days.

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swbsow 7 years, 7 months ago

hottruckinmama -

That ain't nothin'! My dad does geneaology and apparently back a few generations ago, one of the relatives, at age 66, married a 15 year old girl. This relative apparently was asked why and he told the questioner that he needed someone to take care of him in his old age (not in an old dirty man way) and who better to do that than a young healthy wife who would also benefit as being the person who would inheirit any monies he had in exchange.

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local_support 7 years, 7 months ago

And I'm 99.9% sure that facts need to have some sort of evidence in order to state that they are "proven."

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local_support 7 years, 7 months ago

"Boys have ONE thing on their minds, and it's not waiting until the girl is ready."

Way to lump 50% of the population into an unfair generalization. Most of the tirades on here are the same old gender stereotypes and it's a shame. Plus it's always great when people state "proven facts" without any sort of study to back it up.

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hottruckinmama 7 years, 7 months ago

Posted by Reality_Check (anonymous) on August 27, 2006 at 4:17 p.m. (Suggest removal)

What about all those 14-15 year olds who got married back in the old days? Rape in every case?

omg reality_check!!! you have no idea what you can start with that kind of statement. about a year ago i mentioned that my grandpa at age 26 had married my grandma at age 16 way back in 1921. they were married for more than 55 years and I never seen a cross word between them. well you would have thought i started WW3. i got called everyname in the book and so did my grandparents. you would have thought i was talking about something that happened 2 days ago rather then 85 years ago!!

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oldgranny 7 years, 7 months ago

Phil Kline has some of us so nutty we are ready to ruin young mens lives for doing what has come naturally to young men since time began. The nuttiness needs to stop. There is a big difference between a 19 year old boy dating a 15 or 16 year old girl and a 40 year old man running after a 15 or 16 year old girl. If you cannot tell the difference then you have a problem.

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davisnin 7 years, 7 months ago

If parents only let their daughters date boys the same age, sex would never occur. Its a proven fact that 99.9% of couples within 2% of physical age practice abstinence, stay off drugs and increase each others IQ by 34 points.

Also, there is no evidence that a 14 year old boy is, in the least, interested in sexual congress with any girl his age or older. They just want friendship.

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Reality_Check 7 years, 7 months ago

"Brad Totman did not "have consensual sex" with his girlfriend, he raped a 15-year-old girl, when he was a 19-year-old adult."

Great logic! Being in love doesn't count? Doesn't the law read you can be married at 14 if your parents approve? So, if Trotman had simply gotten the parents permission, and married her before they had sex, would it still be rape?

What about all those 14-15 year olds who got married back in the old days? Rape in every case?

Clearly, you have no ability to reason. Logic is a foreign concept to you.

Clearly, the maturity of the participants DOES matter. I knew lots of 19 year olds who were no mature than 15 year olds, and vice versa.

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Confrontation 7 years, 7 months ago

The parents are just as guilty in these cases. For parents to let their daughters date older men of any age (including older high school boys), they are setting their daughters up to be used by these boys. Boys have ONE thing on their minds, and it's not waiting until the girl is ready. These parents who let their young daughters go out with older men should be serving jail time right along with these perverts. I know that some daughters sneak out and lie to their parents, but there are those SICK parents who allow this to happen. It disgusts me how many parents pimp out their daughters in some perverse form of pleasure for themselves. How can you be happy knowing your daughters are being used? Who cares if you chose to start being used and using others at such young ages? Your kids don't have to follow in your example.

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rayikeo 7 years, 7 months ago

Here is my suggestion: On the sex offenders list just below "OFFENSE" list the following "SEVERITY" with a box showing a number between 1 & 10. 1 the most minor offense (like peeing on the golg course) with 9 being rape and a 10 would be rape with death involved. Click on the box to see offenses covered by each number. Under severity the next line would be "NUMBER OF CONVICTIONS" with a box listing the number of convictions for that person.

With that information we would have a good idea if the person was a threat to the neighborhood or a one time looser.

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moxxie_mama 7 years, 7 months ago

Oh and if she did have sex, I certainly wouldn't take the stance of 'blame the boy' only. It takes two. There are girls who really do get victimized by older men, and somehow these girls are the ones being left behind because of all this nonsense in punishing every sexual act.

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moxxie_mama 7 years, 7 months ago

Whistlestop, sexual organs and hormones begins maturing around that age, not all that long ago it was the norm to be married at that age. As time has gone on, kids have become more immature mentally and emotionally, but physically they're 'coming of age' earlier at the same time being bombarded with a double standard of sexualization of women in the media and peers. Menses are begining earlier. Boys develop typically later than girls, so really a boy that is a few years older is actually developmentally equal. I do think it's better for kids to wait to have sex because of emotional immaturity, but to say there is something mentally wrong with them for having the desires, no. That is a society imposition that doesn't jive with their physical development.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't advocate children having sex, of course not. But to act as if it's such an abomination is ludicrous. There is a reason that kids become sexually curious, and to try to say that you can squelch that completely is just not reasonable. Psychiatrists have levels of 'normal' for sexual curiosity at developmental ages. That is why we give tools to hold off on those desires, and it's also why all the abstinence only education in the world isn't going to stop the problem. I am a mother of a 16 year old, and what I did was tell her that I understand that desires are there and why those desires are there, but I concentrated on the negative impact of having sex before being mentally ready for it- I never lied or tried to impose guilt. And I also told her that if she DOES decide to have sex anyway, that she should prepare herself with condoms.

To my knowledge, she has not had sex yet, for which I am very glad.

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Fred Whitehead Jr. 7 years, 7 months ago

Jamesaust.......l.AMEN! (And no preacher told me to say that). I am glad there are those like you to fend off people like Parkay.

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Fred Whitehead Jr. 7 years, 7 months ago

Parkay, it is re-assuring that we still have the kind of rigid doctrinaire "Kill em, burn em, throw them in a hole" kind of idiots like you. Ask no questions, shoot first. I once had a teacher that said "everyone in this world serves a good purpose, even though it be nothing but a bad example" I hope none of your family ever gets caught up in this hysteria, you will then learn the real truth about this issue.

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Jamesaust 7 years, 7 months ago

Same old story.

Lazy, incompetent legislators don't want to take on the difficult tasks and so craft a vague, one-size-fits-all law so that they can run for re-election having done 'something'. And the voters, ever sheep-like, in their desire to follow authority give the legislators nothing but applause.

Of course, all of this would be better if this type of monstrosity was reported directly to 'General' Kline as the Chief of Naughty Police. Granted, he'd be too distracted to do his real job, but little Tommy and Susie wouldn't be doing the hootchie coochie and little 3 year old girls wouldn't be crying because they'd never exist anyway if their daddies were just in prison as the criminals they are. (After all, everyone knows that teenage sexual desire comes from Satan, not the Creator. At least that's what the Preacher said at the revival meeting.)

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karma_king 7 years, 7 months ago

this is silly. a lot of kids from the local high schools would be on the registry if you people had your way, do you think teens aren't having sex?

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Ray Parker 7 years, 7 months ago

Brad Totman did not "have consensual sex" with his girlfriend, he raped a 15-year-old girl, when he was a 19-year-old adult. He should have served a prison term before being branded a sex offender for the rest of his life, in case he should go after another child, and his punishment held up as an example to other would-be predators. We must protect our minor children from perverts.

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moxxie_mama 7 years, 7 months ago

My first love was 18 when I was 14. We had sex when I was 15. Under this law, he wouldn't be the decorated Marine and successful businessman he is today, happily married with 3 kids. He is still my friend and I never ever felt like his 'victim'. I had an aunt who was going off on this subject one day, and how boys are always the perpetrators in this...until I told her that my cousin, her son, one year older than I, used to take me to his secret 'fort' to "play house." Again, I didn't feel 'victimized' we were curious kids, that's all. She didn't believe me, but it sure shut her up really quick.

I wonder how many of these people who are screaming that these girls are always victims have teenage sons? I bet they'd be awfully shocked to hear what REALLY happens. I also bet they don't believe their sons would be in the 90% who have at least 1 homosexual experience before age 18 either! Who gets to play the victim in that one?

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whistlestop75 7 years, 7 months ago

Has anyone on this site seen the statistics on 12 year olds having sex?...Seems to me that I read an article recently about the "norm" now seems to be "dating" at 12 and to keep the boyfriend...oral sex is acceptable to that age group...now that would be consentual sex, but are these kids mature enough...no one in their right mind would say yes...Health clinics and doctor's offices are treating herpes, as well as other conditions now due to this behavior. Who is responsible for the children thinking this is normal?

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moxxie_mama 7 years, 7 months ago

I think it's sad that juveniles are being put on a sex offender registry. Often, they're victims of sexual abuse themselves, and hopefully, since caught, getting therapy which reduced the likelihood of them re-offending. We are going overboard on what constitutes a real threat to society in sex crimes and ruining many more lives in the process than protecting. Punishing kids for being kids and experimenting with normal curiosity, and punish 18 year olds who fall in love with 15 year olds...it's just not right. Don't we realize that none of this is really protecting anyone? The real offenders should be the ones on those sites...those are the ones to be afraid of.

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sybil 7 years, 7 months ago

Not too far back the laws govorning Sex Offenders was lax and now many who should be on the registry are not and never will be unless caught again. It is better to have a strong law which includes all then a weak law that allows them to walk away.

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Fred Whitehead Jr. 7 years, 7 months ago

I have to thank Eric Weslander for this fine article. I have seen up close and personal the effects of this wide-net law. My own developmentally-disabled son was railroaded into a plea bargain conviction from accusations by trailer-trash. He was "interviewed" by cops on the make who failed to provide him an attorney (it is written in thei own reports) and cooerced him into making statments about his "thoughts". He was convicted on a plea bargain to get out of jail and register as a sex offender when no one had actuallly made any accusations against him, just the cops and their ill-gotten "thoughts".

This "sex-offender" lable is a political bomb. It is attached wildly by hysterical people who believe the crap on the evening news by media who see a gold mine in advertising revenue ratings. The flashing red headlines are there on nearly every newscast as the lead-off story. It is the latter- day Salem witch hunt all over again. Don't get me wrong, the true criminals, the real offenders need strong punishment, but there are a lot of very innocent people being caught up in this witch hunt, a lot of folks hear those news reports and think there is a molester or rapist in every bush and standing on every corner. It is about time some sanity and intelligence be inserted into this debate and some distinctions be made. Thanks again, Eric for the great article.

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sybil 7 years, 7 months ago

As a Mother let a 19 year old try to have a relationship with my Daughter. He may have married her but he is still s sick individual.

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observer 7 years, 7 months ago

There can not be consent when the victim is under 16. The victim does not have the emotional or mental capacity to give informed consent

SAYS WHO?

Define informed consent. I agree, a 25 year old with a 15 year old is wrong. a 19 year old with 15 year old, what is both of their maturity levels. The 16 year age was totally arbitrary because some legislators decided so. My only gripe with registry is how and why people are added and why no distinction is made as to offense.

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smitty 7 years, 7 months ago

If memory serves me well, parents are hesitant to allow their girls to date because most boys have hormones for brains regardless of age differences.

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ThomasJefferson 7 years, 7 months ago

Why does he keep talking about it being consensual sex? There can not be consent when the victim is under 16. The victim does not have the emotional or mental capacity to give informed consent. The victim can often be tricked into sex by a fast-talking older guy.

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GOPConservative 7 years, 7 months ago

I have to agree with Attorney General Phill Kline on this one. Even if a 16 year old boy is involved with a 15 year old girl, he is a sex offender.

That label should follow him for the rest of his life, and the boy should also do hard time for his sinful behavior. No one should be having sex anyway unless he/she has been saved and married in a legitimate church by a minister who has the courage to teach kids about hellfire and the fear of God.

As Brother Kline has indicated repeatedly to the Godless scum-suckers in our State, a 16 year old having sexual relations with a 15 year old is no different than a 50 year old having sexual relations with a 6 year old. Both are sex offenders of equal magnitude.

We have to draw a line. We need to set an example. There are no shades of grey when it comes to sex. Either you are an sex offender or you are not. Period. Either you limit sex to Holy Union in a sanctified marriage between a man and a woman or you engage in Satanic acts of unimaginable horror.

In fact, what is really needed is a method to prevent teen sex in the first place. That is why I support Brother Kline establishing detainment camps for at-risk unmarried young girls and young women who come from homes where either or both parents have not been certified as saved by recognized evangelical authorities.

Many children are exposed to Satanic ideas like evolution at an early age nowadays. They are not taught about hell and the consequences of casual sex. They are not taught that sex is only to be used in Holy Union, only for procreation, and only after a man and a woman have been saved and have entered into a sacred marriage led by a minister who is certified by recognized evangelical authorities.

The story of the evil Mr. Totman should be told to every teenage boy and serve as an example of what will happen if a the boy does not keep his thing in his pants.

The solution is simple, teenagers. When you have an impure thought, slap yourself hard on the rear end, take a cold shower and then spend the rest of the day reading your Bible.

Further, do not be tempted by the idea of self stimulation, which is a one-way ticket to hell.

Yours in all that is Holy,

Brother GOP

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mom_of_three 7 years, 7 months ago

I check the KBI sexual offender website often, as I have several who have lived in my neighborhood. I understand that the descriptions are vague, and I feel for Totman's situation. And I wonder about that every time I see a description such as his on a young man or woman.
He is a brave guy for bringing his story to the public.

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Kat Christian 7 years, 7 months ago

However Totmen is correct there needs to be an distinshine between offenders, but that would take more money, higher taxes and forbide lawmakers would have to do some work to change it.

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Kat Christian 7 years, 7 months ago

What good is abstinence education when movies, TV, advertisements and video games all promote sexual themes? It's the same as having a gun law what good is it when it is promoted in the most high profile venues provided to the public. Just doesn't make sense.

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smitty 7 years, 7 months ago

JW, now do a story on those from the list that simply need closer supervision in their independent living arrangements to avoid contact with the children who are at the same maturity level as a adult of Cottonwood and Bert Nash clients. There needs to be an awareness of these clients where abouts and behavior but is this list the way to go?

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bmwjhawk 7 years, 7 months ago

There's murderers on that site, too. I heard somewhere that taking a leak on a public golf course can land you on the list... is that accurate information or an urban legend?

Those bathrooms are few and far between.

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average 7 years, 7 months ago

Man, some of this stuff is crazy.

Beat your wife all day long, but don't get caught taking a leak on the side of the road or touch anyone without multiple forms of ID.

I've brought out this random case I found before. Wish I knew more of the specifics, but it sure looks weird.

http://maps.kansasgis.org/kbi/kbi.cfm?id=SOP04716

The charge, indecent solicitation of a child < 16.

How old when added to the system? 14. Had to have been younger when he actually did it. Oddly enough, 14 year olds do tend to propostion those under 16.

His punishment... may be barred from thousands of jobs... forever. Under some proposals, he couldn't live in 90% of Lawrence ('near' schools and daycares).

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lunacydetector 7 years, 7 months ago

this is why abstinence education is so important.

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mjstrain56 7 years, 7 months ago

I'd like to say I feel badly for Brad Totman, however can't. Kids make mistakes everyday and some go to prison for those mistakes. At least he was spared that little nightmare. That said, I think the laws need to be changed. Having consensual sex with your girlfriend isn't even in the same ballpark as say what happened to Jon Benet Ramsey. Public flogging should be saved for the real monsters!

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