In “Working Girl,” Melanie Griffith played a secretary who said she had “a mind for business and a bod for sin.” In the new sitcom “Twins” (7:30 p.m., WB), she appears to have raised two daughters who personify those opposing attributes.

Sara Gilbert (“Roseanne”) returns to sitcoms as a science nerd named Mitchee who stands to inherit her family’s undergarment business with her gorgeous and sexy dim-bulb twin sister, Farrah (Molly Stanton).

Despite a capable cast, “Twins” is saddled with a predictable and aggressively vulgar script. Griffith’s character, a dumb Botoxed blonde, compares the agonies of twin childbirth to “pooping two watermelons.” Producers, actors and everyone involved can only pray for a quick cancellation.

Tonight’s other highlights

¢ After an ethical transgression, Danny faces his most fearful nemesis on the cartoon adventure “Danny Phantom” (7 p.m., Nickelodeon).

¢ Julie Chen plays host to “Big Brother 6” (7 p.m., CBS).

¢ A crass dad rampages on “The War at Home” (7:30 p.m., Fox).

¢ The mystery moves forward to 1987 on “Reunion” (8 p.m., Fox).

¢ “Animal Planet Heroes: Hurricane Rescues” (8 p.m., Animal Planet) profiles those who risked life and limb to save pets stranded by Hurricane Katrina.

¢ An expert shows how to endure seven days in the woods without supplies on “Survivorman” (8 p.m., Science).

¢ “NOW” (9 p.m., PBS) presents a town-hall meeting discussing Hurricane Katrina and its aftermath.

¢ Scheduled on “20/20” (9 p.m., ABC): Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong; Alan Alda; Wynton Marsalis returns to the Gulf.

¢ Sharon falls under suspicion on “Battlestar Galactica” (9 p.m., Sci Fi).

¢ Bon Jovi and Sugarland perform on “Crossroads” (9:30 p.m., CMT).

Late night

Charlie Sheen and Institute appear on “Late Show with David Letterman” (10:35 p.m., CBS) … Jay Leno is host to Denis Leary, The Wild Boys and Keane on “The Tonight Show” (10:35 p.m., NBC) … Will Arnett and Blues Traveler appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” (11:05 p.m., ABC).

Sacha Baron Cohen and the New Pornographers chat on “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” (11:35 p.m., NBC) … Craig Ferguson plays host to Alyson Hannigan, Steve Jones and Augustana on “The Late, Late Show” (11:37 p.m., CBS).