Dear Dr. Wes and Marissa: My mom and I want to know your thoughts on the recent drinking situation at Free State and how the school is handling it.

Wes: I’ve heard several versions of one side of the story from the kids I see; however, I don’t have the school’s version beyond that which has been published. I was, however, surprised to learn that the school district was surprised to learn that kids are drinking before or during dances.

Although I understand the behavior was unusually raucous at the dance, drinking in such situations is so common it’s a cliche, appearing in this column, hundreds of movies and most popular culture. That doesn’t make it OK, just commonly problematic. The school’s response needs to be deliberate and focused, not a knee-jerk reaction that will trivialize the larger issue. For example, will the task force being gathered also consider the extent to which substance abuse is a part of daily school life or other events?

Marissa actually wrote an article about this for the Lawrence High School Budget last fall, focusing on cocaine. I have even seen an increase in the last three years of students complaining that substance use and distribution at school is detracting from their learning. So there are certainly more issues here than the one on the table.

I also agree with Molly Krishtalka (Sept. 9, Journal-World Public Forum) that caution should be used in making dances less palatable for teens to attend, though this could come from too little security, as Marissa notes, or too much. Believe it or not, I used to be a radio DJ in the Wichita area and operated a mobile sound system. I did about 250 dances between 1982 and 1988 and saw the expected problems with discipline, alcohol, some drugs and a lot of really bad hairstyles. Most schools handled those problems on the spot by calling parents and ejecting kids (for discipline problems, not hair).

• Dances to include alcohol testing (09-09-05)
• 6News video: Dances to require alcohol tests (09-08-05)
• On the Street: Should high school students have to take a Breathalyzer test before entering school dances? (09-09-05)
• Drunks at dances a problem (09-01-05)
• 6News video: Intoxicated students at dance raise concerns (08-31-05)

So these issues are not new, and schools should be adept at dealing with them. However, trying to make dances perfectly alcohol-free may, as Ms. Krishtalka suggests, kill the idea entirely. Better in my view to enhance crowd control and return those who appear intoxicated to their parents, whom I hope would shell out the consequences.

Further, I worry that front-end use of Breathalyzers could increase the amount of drinking AFTER students have arrived and passed the test. Thus, to be really safe, teens also would need to be tested before they left to drive elsewhere. Moreover, the school should be well-aware of the significant but under-reported level of marijuana use among its student body. To give everyone a urine analysis would be impractical, to say the least. It would be problematic if the Breathalyzer plan actually increased the use of more easily concealed substances.

Finally, I must suggest that parents have a discussion with their teens about how to respond to inquiries by school or law enforcement. Parents should be present if their child is being interviewed about a matter of serious disciplinary concern. Teens should never consider the phrase “If you don’t tell us the truth, we’re going to call your parents” a threat, but rather an invitation that the teen should accept. This is especially true if police officers are involved. Teens and everyone else have constitutional rights. One is the right to remain silent. Another is the right not to incriminate one’s self. It is an error of policy when several adults interview a lone teenager, especially with an officer present, without offering or demanding to call the parents. It also can be very traumatizing.

Parents should establish an understanding with their kids that no matter what the situation, they will intervene to assure that due process is afforded. This DOES NOT mean badly behaved teenagers will get off the hook; they may well get into serious trouble, and a parent who does not deliver or support consequences is an enabler. It does mean that the youth’s rights will be protected, a rule of law that each of us should hold dear for ourselves and our kids.

Bottom line: Parents need to be involved with their kids and their school, and vice versa, serving as the primary enforcer of substance abuse boundaries and a protector of their lives and their rights. As for the exact means to this end, there is plenty of controversy. As you can see, even Marissa and I don’t quite agree.

Marissa: Drinking at high school dances? There’s a shocker! The level of alcohol use is one of the reasons some students avoid dances all together.

There have been countless instances involving intoxicated students in my high school career, both at dances and at sporting events. The only reason people are shocked now is that the administration is finally taking some action to stop it.

Some students are willing to argue that the district should allow kids to be drunk at school activities because it prevents them from drinking at other locations and then driving around. This viewpoint frustrates me to no end. Why cater to someone’s stupidity? Follow the laws. It’s not that hard.

Breathalyzers will decrease the amount of drinking before the dance. There’s no way around it. Whether that will mean more people trying to sneak alcohol into the dance is arguable. I think it’s current policy that no one is allowed to bring their own drinks; and if it’s not, then it should be.

This new policy undoubtedly will have people up in arms as to whether it will be a violation of privacy. In my mind, it is not at all. It could be an inconvenience, perhaps, but a necessary one.

I, for one, am thrilled that the district is finally enacting this proactive policy. The concern that the attendance of school functions will decrease has been mentioned in the halls of the schools. This could be an issue, but I doubt it will be one that lasts. Students won’t simply stop going to all school functions for the rest of their years in high school because they can’t drink. Eventually, people will come to accept it and learn to be sober.

– Dr. Wes Crenshaw is a board-certified family psychologist and director of the Family Therapy Institute Midwest. Marissa Ballard is a Lawrence High School senior. Opinions and advice given here are not meant as a substitute for psychological evaluation or therapy services. Send your questions about adolescent issues to doubletake@ljworld.com. All correspondence is strictly confidential.