LJWorld.com

Quick: What do frozen burritos, a Top-40 song, a dog who loves to play fetch and running onto the field to tear down goal posts have in common?

C'mon. This one's easy.

Give up? They're all things that are pretty sweet the first couple of times and pretty lame after that.

You can switch to frozen pizzas, turn off the radio and throw the dog's toy into a tree.

You can stay in the stands after a Kansas University football victory, too.

But, unfortunately, many of you won't

Kansas beat Missouri, 13-3, Saturday. It was the first KU victory over Missouri in : uh, 11 months. KU's student body hasn't torn down the goal posts against Missouri since : well, the last time the two played in Lawrence.

So why charge the field and act like the Jayhawks beat the 1985 Chicago Bears?

Saturday's goal-post heist was a weak, half-hearted effort at best, and if there's any doubt as to whether it's worth doing, guess what? It's not worth doing.

I know, I know. College students, alcohol, excitement, an unbelievable desire for attention - I'm well aware. I've been there, and my liver hasn't spoken to me since I roamed campus.

The fact is, until razor wire is put around the football field, fans will have to show some responsibility, and that includes knowing when to run on the field and when to wave the wheat, exit the stadium without chaos and walk to a watering hole.

Here's some vital signs:

¢ If you've torn down goal posts in three of the last five conference home victories, you're doing it too much.

¢ If public-address announcer Hank Booth is asking you to stay in the stands before the game's over just because he knows you won't, shock the world and stay put.

¢ If KU officials play a prepared video before every game with Mark Mangino asking you to stay off the field, remember something: They wouldn't resort to that if they trusted you.

¢ If KU just beat a team for the third straight time, no matter the team, the posts shouldn't have to get their scuba gear ready for a dunk in Potter Lake.

¢ If your face is numb, or closing your eyes gives you motion sickness thanks to the consumption of a certain beverage, don't try to bring any more attention to yourself by going near falling aluminum poles.

¢ When in doubt, do what Don Fambrough does. At last check, the former Kansas coach and longtime Missouri hater, who's old enough to know better but still too young to care, wasn't throwing his hat in the air, slithering up one upright and shaking the holy heck out of it Saturday. You shouldn't have, either.

Sadly, if there was any game this year worth such a party - and the key word is "if" - it wasn't the Border War game. It's this week's game against Nebraska, a team KU hasn't beaten since before the Jackson 5 was hot.

The Jayhawks very well could beat the Huskers. But pulling down posts two straight weeks is subject to being a national college football joke - not to mention double the health hazard.

So don't do it.