If there’s one thing that bothers me most about youth sports is that players show more sportsmanship than their parents. One single incident will probably stick in my mind more than any game I have covered.

During the football season, one irate parent who was upset at a call came up to me and insisted that I write an article about how unfair the Lawrence Youth Football League is set up. I explained that my colleagues and I come out to these youth sporting events to write about the actual games and some of the players. After a good 10 minutes of talking, the upset parent returned to watch the remainder of the football game.

I’ve been covering youth sports for three months now and I’ve watched somewhere in the neighborhood of 150 different youth sports teams. I’ve had the opportunity to talk to a whole slew of coaches, parents and kids. There have been some sloppy games, close games, blowouts and upsets; and throughout all the games the kids seem to have fun.

The encounter got me thinking about how much the parents and relatives of the players care about these games. It seems fairly obvious that they are passionate about having their children play well, but their satisfaction in the fact that their child played hard and had fun isn’t quite as obvious.

I’ve seen and heard a lot of parents complain about bad or “missed” calls, and I’ve seen players do some complaining as well. The difference that I’ve noticed is that the parents continue to sit on the sidelines and talk about the play for the remainder of the game. The players, on the other hand, continue to play and realize that sometimes a call goes in their favor and sometimes it goes the other way.

To me, the players’ actions epitomize what sportsmanship is all about. The kids are out there to play hard and to try to win the game.

“I thought today was good because the kids are out here to have fun and it’s very evident,” said Anthony Harvey, a recreation league basketball coach, after one of his team’s games. “We make them shake hands before we play and most of these kids know each other.”

That’s a pretty simple thing. They shake hands. I’ve yet to see parents do that on the sidelines, and I’ve yet to see two complete teams not shake hands with each other.

I really don’t think that the kids spend an exorbitant amount of time contemplating the results of one of their games, even when the game is a blowout.

Just this past week a basketball coach asked me not to print the final score of the game because his team had only scored one basket. This coach didn’t care that his team had been blown out in the game. He wasn’t mad that the other team ran up the score during the fourth quarter. He was more concerned that his players would be embarrassed.

The issue of running up the score in youth sports is kind of tricky. Where do you draw the line?

“Sometimes it’s hard to hold these kids back when you get a big lead. It’s not in their nature to do it but we tried to relax a little bit,” said Joe Keating, second- and third-grade Hoosiers head coach, after his team won 40-8.

And why should he hold them back if it’s not in their nature? I understand that the opposing team will feel bad, but by putting limitations on your players, you take away their ability to learn the game. The best way to deal with running up the score is for the coach of the winning team to place restrictions on his or her team. Have the team make five passes before shooting, or only take shots 10 feet or more from the basket.

The sixth- and seventh-grade Blue Devils and Wildcats shake hands after completion of their game Nov. 21 at the East Lawrence Center.

“There are ways to be creative to not run up the score,” said Rick McNabb, president and director of Hoopster. “At the same time you can still work on the game and not embarrass the other kids. And I think that all of our coaches keep that in their minds.”

On the other hand, not keeping score may even benefit some of the kids, Harvey said.

“I think it’s really good because they get a chance to compete but have fun without keeping score. The score doesn’t really matter,” Harvey said.

Harvey also said that keeping score might not be the most important thing that the kids take away from their games.

“It’s just that the kids are having fun and actually playing a sport, and that is what makes it more exciting for the kids because they don’t know the score,” Harvey said. “And another good thing about it is that they get to meet new kids and they get to compete with no pressure.”

Keeping score, however, isn’t the only factor that plays into sportsmanship.

“We have each parent, each kid, each coach, each ref, and each clock keeper sign a code of conduct on how they will play a role in the league,” McNabb said. “It details how they will participate in the league and what the emphasis will be on.”

McNabb said all of the participants had to sign the code of conduct before the start of the regular season.

At least Hoopster is trying to spread sportsmanship beyond just the players.

Youth sports leagues can only do so much as far as teaching kids about sportsmanship. Parents should focus more on the teaching and having fun aspects of playing sports instead of on the winning. Parents can take more responsibility as role models for their children and teach them what sportsmanship is all about. That way everyone will have more fun at the game.

I really feel that parents don’t purposefully have a negative impact on the youth sports experience. From what I’ve seen the parents come out for a couple of hours to root on their child’s team and to have a good time with some of the other adults. It’s just that the kids seem to understand sportsmanship a little bit better when that final whistle blows.