Tales from Texas, where everything's bigger (including margin of victory, apparently).
¢ All right, class. Name for me the three opponents Kansas University's football team has played on television this year.
That'd be Kansas State, Oklahoma and Texas.
Now, of the 10 games already in the books, in which three did KU's performance resemble a team wearing its helmets backward?
Yep. Kansas State, Oklahoma and Texas.
Chalk it up to terrible coincidence that KU has played so poorly on the tube. It always helps recruiting to play your football games on television, but it'd help a little more if you played well while on television.
The Jayhawks have one last chance for TV redemption, against Iowa State on Nov. 26. If it's another stinker, perhaps they should refuse exposure next season.
That's a joke.
¢ Blame my horrendous vision for not being certain, but I think I saw defensive end Charlton Keith, just messing around down on the field, fire up and fling a football 50 yards right on target to someone in pregame. Keith was a quarterback in high school, which raises the question: Have you ever heard of a quarterback-turned-lineman? Can you imagine Brian Luke subbing for Bob Whitaker?
¢ Here's what's wild: Texas dropped 66 points on Kansas without trying too hard in the second half and without the most lethal weapon of all - Vince Young's legs - doing much of anything the whole game.
Young had minus-4 yards rushing. Wasn't that what KU was supposed to be scared of? And Texas still hung 66?
¢ Since I seem to have located the question-mark key on my laptop, here's another: Have you ever tried to figure out something so pointless, you eventually solve the riddle before realizing that you wasted a lot of valuable brain energy on something stupid?
I did Sunday, when the stewardess offered me an in-flight lunch. It took me the rest of the flight to try to remember the last time I ate real food on an airplane. I think it has been 10 years, and now I wish I never had attempted to come up with that number.
¢ Bill Callahan has some guts. And I'm not talking about the Brandon Rush bubble guts, though he may have had those, too.
The Nebraska football coach is undergoing some sizzling heat for his rocky transition. His Huskers were one victory away from bowl-eligibility, struggling against Kansas State on Saturday with the rock-solid Colorado Buffaloes next - and last - on the schedule.
When Callahan's quarterback, Zac Taylor, was knocked out of the game with a vicious hit, Callahan pulled the red shirt - in Game 10 - on prized freshman quarterback Harrison Beck, calling the decision a no-brainer.
Basically, Callahan sacrificed Beck for the 2009 season (c'mon, like we should care about that right now) to get Nebraska in a bowl this year. It's gutsy, and it paid off: Nebraska beat Kansas State and now can accept the pounding Colorado will give it without much resistance.
¢ Overheard in the press box Saturday, with Texas up 49-0: "Look - even Bevo's bored."
Well said. But how can you tell if a bull is bored?