How can faith help someone going through divorce?

Christians never have to face obstacles alone

The Rev. Darrel Proffitt, lead pastor, St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church, 5700 W. Sixth St.:

Scott Peck’s first sentence in his book “The Road Less Traveled” states that “life is difficult.” This is true for all people, regardless of the level of faith they have.

There are many people who have bought into an illusion that they are not connected to anyone or anything. These people believe they are autonomous individuals who face the challenges and the triumphs of life all alone. These people go through life without discovering meaning beyond their own self-identity. These people don’t really live; they merely exist.

A follower of Jesus Christ is different. Discovering the purpose of life and encountering the presence of God in all things, including challenges and failures, is a truth that many people never find. Instead of going it alone, a follower of Jesus finds help that is real, powerful and sustaining. With faith, even divorce can be used by God to bring those who suffer to a place of healing and wholeness.

Christians are not exempt from divorce. There are many reasons why relationships fail, and God is not standing with a stern look on his face to condemn anyone for such failure. Instead, he offers his love to those who so desperately need it. Jesus taught his followers during the days leading to his execution that dangers and failures will be encountered by those who follow him. He is the one who brings healing.

Faith in and of itself can be placed in many things. When faith is placed in God, and in his son Jesus Christ, we can understand the words of Paul, who said, “I am convinced that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ.” Not even divorce.

– Send e-mail to Darrel Proffitt at stmargaret@sbcglobal.net.

Turning to God for strength always an option

Debbie Stiel, rabbi, Lawrence Jewish Community Center, 947 Highland Drive:

Religion and faith can help one going through a divorce in many ways.

Faith connects us to God. Divorce is the death of a relationship. The demise leaves many people feeling alone and sad or angry at the loss. At these moments it can be very important to remember that we can turn to God for strength, solace and companionship.

Liturgy in our prayer books also can help us frame our thoughts and pray them to God at this time. For example, some Jewish prayer books include this recitation: “God, you give meaning to our hopes, to our struggles and our striving. … And so when all else fails us, we turn to you! In the stillness of the night, … when we walk alone though yearning for companionship … we look to you for hope and peace.”

Some religions, including Judaism, teach that at times divorce may be the best option for a couple. This knowledge is comforting to those who wonder whether divorce is against God’s wishes. In fact, Judaism has had a formal divorce document since biblical times. For many people it provides healing to have religious ritual involved in their divorce as it was in their marriage.

Being part of a faith community, which can bring healing and normalcy, also can be a tremendous source of support when one feels alone or in need of guidance.

Lastly, at this very unscripted time in one’s life, when it may be hard to know exactly how to move on, daily and weekly religious rituals and celebrations can help provide normalcy. This is important for the children affected by the divorce as well as the adults.

– Send e-mail to Debbie Stiel at dstiel@everestkc.net.