Q: I recently scolded my daughter for something I found out later she hadn’t done. Would you go so far as to apologize to a child if you felt you had been in the wrong?

A: I certainly would – and indeed, I have. A number of years ago I was burdened with pressing responsibilities that fatigued me and made me irritable.

One particular evening I was especially grouchy and short-tempered with my 10-year-old daughter. I knew I was not being fair, but was simply too tired to correct my manner. Through the course of the evening, I blamed Danae for things that were not her fault and upset her needlessly several times. After going to bed, I felt bad about the way I had behaved and I decided to apologize the next morning. After a good night of sleep and a tasty breakfast, I felt much more optimistic about life.

I approached my daughter before she left for school and said: “Danae, I’m sure you know that daddies are not perfect human beings. We get tired and irritable just like other people, and there are times when we are not proud of the way we behave. I know I wasn’t fair with you last night. I was terribly grouchy, and I want you to forgive me.”

Danae put her arms around me and shocked me down to my toes. She said, “I knew you were going to have to apologize, Daddy, and it’s OK; I forgive you.”

Can there be any doubt that children are often more aware of the struggles between generations than are their busy, harassed parents?

Q: I was watching an old 1930s black-and-white movie on television the other night. What jumped out at me was the respectful way the teenagers related to their parents. These kids, who appeared to be 17 or 18 years old, were downright deferential and looked to their father to make the final decisions regarding their own behavior.

I know this was just fiction, but I got the impression that that’s the way families functioned back then. Today, even “good kids” from strong families are often more independent and disrespectful to their parents. If I’m right about this change, why has it occurred and how do you see it?

A: The movie you saw is characteristic of others made during that era because children in most nations of the world responded that way to their parents. There were exceptions, of course.

Rebellion has occurred throughout history – even in biblical times. Remember that King David’s son Amnon raped his half-sister Tamar, and his other son Absalom tried to overthrow the reign of his father. While some of yesterday’s families had to deal with upheavals of this nature, they have typically been the exception rather than the rule.

But today, as you indicated, children and young people are taught to be disrespectful and rebellious by the culture. One of the most effective teachers is the rock music industry and the excesses it embraces.

It is difficult to overestimate the negative impact contemporary music is having. Rock stars are the heroes, the idols, that young people want to emulate. And when they are depicted in violent and sexual roles, many teenagers and preadolescents are pulled along in their wake.

What could possibly be wholesome about showing explicit sex scenes – especially those involving perversion – to 12- and 13-year-olds? Yet videos come into homes via MTV and other channels that feature men and women in blatantly sexual situations, or even in depictions of sadism.

One study showed that more than half of all MTV videos featured violence or implied violence, and 35 percent revealed violence against women. A steady diet of this garbage will pollute the minds of even the healthiest of teenagers. I believe that this perpetual and pernicious exposure to rock music is responsible, at least in part, for many of the social problems now occurring among the young, including the high suicide rate, the reported willingness of young men to rape women if given an opportunity, and the moral undermining of the next generation.