Elizabeth Hein has been sleeping in her son’s bed since he died two weeks ago.

“It’s very, very quiet. I can’t deal with that. I really can’t,” she said. “I refuse to wash any of his clothes because I can still smell him.”

On March 7, Hein watched helplessly as her son died in her arms. She blames her son’s autism and a small rubber ball.

About 8 p.m. that Sunday, Hein was outside on the phone for a few minutes. When she came back inside, her son ran toward her. She knew immediately that he was choking. The same thing had happened a couple weeks earlier, and she used the Heimlich maneuver to clear his airway. This time the maneuver didn’t work.

“I tried it a couple of times. He was gasping for air, so I thought we had time,” she said.

Hein and her boyfriend, Raymond Steele, decided to take Wesley to Lawrence Memorial Hospital. Along the way, Hein called 911.

“I told them I don’t know what it is. I just know he was choking and he’s passing out,” Hein said.

The switchboard operator told Hein to stop the car and ambulances would meet her. Steele stopped the car near 23rd and Massachusetts streets. Hein took her son out of the car and again tried to clear his airway.

“The events were blurry to me. I remember my boyfriend was trying to sweep his mouth. He was trying to get his finger around it and get it out. It wasn’t food; he could tell it was hard and plastic,” she said.

Elizabeth Hein visits her son's grave in Lawrence's Oak Hill Cemetery. She is struggling to pay funeral and living expenses. Wesley Hein, 6, died March 7 after choking on a small ball.

But neither Hein nor Steele could get their fingers around the toy. They hoped the paramedics would have better luck. But as they waited for the ambulance to arrive, she said, Wesley began having convulsions and seizures.

“I was panicked. Then I happened to look at him, and he was bleeding” from his mouth, Hein said. “Here he was, and I couldn’t do anything for him.”

When the ambulance arrived, Hein said, the paramedics tried CPR. The boy was then taken to Lawrence Memorial Hospital. But Hein already feared the worst.

“I had a feeling when we left when I saw him bleed that it was pretty much over. I had a gut feeling. It was instinct,” she said.

Hein estimated 10 minutes went by before a doctor broke the news to her at the hospital.

“They had IVs going. I could see the flatline — there was no heartbeat,” she said. “Everything was not real.”

Hein said she had devoted the past six years of her life to caring for Wesley, who was diagnosed with autism. He mostly communicated through sign language, though he could speak a few words. He attended Prairie Park School.

Hein says her life without Wesley is quiet and empty.

“He loved water. He liked playing Xbox. He liked ‘Titanic’ and ‘Spiderman’ movies. He would watch movies over and over again,” Hein said, laughing.

6News video: Loss of young son haunts mother Obituary Kindergartner dies after choking on ball (3-8-05)

While Hein, a Haskell Indian Nations University student, is mourning her son’s loss, she is also busy raising her 3-year-old daughter, Becky, who also has developmental problems. Because of funeral expenses, Hein said she was about $3,500 in debt.

Hein said she had tried explaining Wesley’s death to Becky. She fears her young daughter will forget her big brother, so Hein keeps pictures around the house.

“She tells everybody Wesley is dead. But I tell her he’s an angel now. He can watch over us,” Hein said. “I wish he was here.”