Let’s be realistic about what this odd war is doing to those we are asking to fight it.

The Iraq war has always been controversial. It has never been like World War II, which enjoyed vigorous majority support almost from the beginning. Too many of us can’t get very enthusiastic about why we’re in Iraq or why we went there in the first place. This isn’t a war that inspires patriotic songs. It’s a war that inspires complaints about extended stays, lack of armored vehicles, inadequate weapons and supplies.

A surprising number of people in the service have tried to get out of going to Iraq or returning there.

Take Army Spc. Marquise J. Roberts of Hinesville, Ga. He had served seven months in Iraq, returned home, and then was scheduled for redeployment there. While on a visit to family members in Philadelphia, he allegedly persuaded a cousin to shoot him in the leg so he could avoid going back to Iraq.

Roberts told police he was the victim of a robbery attempt. But when questioned closely about the alleged incident, Roberts is said to have admitted he lied.

While there’s no way to justify his actions, we should try to understand them, especially because a surprising number of these events occur. According to the Department of Defense, attempts to avoid duty in Iraq are anything but rare. As quiet as it has been kept, a considerable number of U.S. military personnel have disappeared from their posts, fleeing to Canada and elsewhere to avoid the messy war.

The ranks of missing soldiers are down somewhat to about 5,500 from a high of 6,200 a year ago. Still, it is a number that should provide little comfort to any defense secretary. Except in rare instances, the Pentagon refuses to charge missing soldiers with desertion. If any punishment is meted out to those who disappear, it is usually for being AWOL rather than for being deserters.

War has always wounded the minds as well as the bodies of combatants. One example involves Marine reservist Jeffrey Lucey of Belchertown, Mass. Lucey prepared to leave Iraq after serving six months there as a truck driver. According to his parents, he planned to report traumatic memories of seeing corpses. However, he was advised that reporting such problems could delay his return home. So Lucey played down his troubles. Once home, he began to experience delusions about having killed unarmed Iraqis. In June, at age 23, he hanged himself with a hose in his basement of the family home.

The deaths of at least 17 troops in Iraq — 15 Army personnel and two Marines — have been confirmed as suicides over the last seven months, according to a recent Associated Press review of Army casualty reports. Nearly all the suicides have occurred since May 1, 2003, when President Bush prematurely declared that “major fighting has ended.”

Dozens of other deaths are currently under investigation, and the real number of suicides could be significantly higher. More than 500 soldiers have recently been evacuated from Iraq for mental-health reasons.

Ambivalence: A Dec. 21 Washington Post/ABC News poll found that 56 percent of respondents said the war is not worth fighting. That’s much higher than the same question attracted in April. However, 44 percent insisted that the United States is making progress in Iraq.

President Bush is determined to bring democracy to the country of the captured former despot Saddam Hussein. But that doesn’t necessarily make those in uniform happy about fighting in the desert, where there seems to be as much chaos as order.

Many have accused the United States of beginning the battle before we were prepared to win the war — or the peace. No matter our leaders’ premature claims of victory, the battles go on as you read this. More than 1,300 American lives have been lost in combat thus far, and thousands of other Americans have been seriously wounded. It is war’s usual harvest of lost lives, lost limbs, lives shattered.

War is almost never as neat and tidy as it is portrayed in movies. It’s a demanding business that requires sacrifice, commitment and courage by dedicated men and women. And, despite the patriotic pabulum that gets pumped out by a cheerleading administration and the pliant media, armed conflicts are seldom popular among those who risk their lives fighting them. But too many of our troops appear to be especially ambivalent about this ambiguous war. And there doesn’t seem to be much the Pentagon or the president is willing or able to do to change that.

Claude Lewis is a retired columnist for the Philadelphia Inquirer.