Same-sex weddings and commitment ceremonies are definitely more in the news today than a few years ago. Yet they’re still relatively new and in addition to causing political controversy, they also cause confusion regarding etiquette.

If you’re concerned about what to expect, don’t feel bad — that’s natural. Rest assured, each couple will create the ceremony that’s right for them, and all you have to do is follow their lead.

The rule of thumb is to act as you would at any wedding. Still have questions? Here are some guidelines to help you prepare for their big day.

• What should I expect at the ceremony?

If you’re not sure how to act or what to do, don’t try to overcompensate with extra blessings or congratulatory remarks. It will only make the couple and you feel awkward. Go with the flow. You (or your date) know them best and know the path they took to get to the big day.

If it was a long struggle, they might want to rejoice even more that they’ve made it, or keep things mellow and avoid extra fuss. They will choose to incorporate the traditions with which they are comfortable, so don’t worry if they skip the bouquet toss or opt for the kiss. Get a prep course and preview of various real couples’ same-sex ceremonies at TheKnot.com/samesexweddings.

• Should I buy them a present? To whom should I address the card?

If you would normally give a present to the bride and groom, there’s no reason not to give one to the bride and bride (or groom and groom). If the couple didn’t register anywhere, gift certificates are always a great option. As to whom you should address the card, avoid the cheeky “Mrs. & Mrs.” and just opt for first names, which is more personal anyway.

• Do I call them wife and … wife?

Possibly. It all depends on how the newlyweds choose to refer to each other. More than likely they will want to indicate that a new step has been taken in their relationship (so girlfriend is probably passe), but once again, follow their lead. When in doubt, “spouse” and “significant other” are safe bets.

• What should I wear?

Attire for a same-sex service is simpler than you think — just follow the guidelines for a traditional wedding. Casual apparel is best for an afternoon ceremony in the garden, while a Saturday night event warrants more formal dress.

• Do I congratulate their parents?

Yes. Best wishes are always in order on such an occasion for both the couple and their families. If their parents are present at the ceremony, more than likely they support the relationship. If you know, however, that the parents have attended begrudgingly, then it might be best to say hello and just leave it at that.

• How should I deal with an uncomfortable date?

Just because you’re friendly with the couple and love them no matter what, that doesn’t mean your date will feel the same. Talk with him or her about what to expect before the ceremony to avoid any awkwardness on the day of the event.

Keep in mind that many of the couple’s friends might also be in a same-sex partnership, so don’t bring a guest who’ll be uncomfortable in this situation or who might make comments. If you happen to overhear a rude remark from another guest, either ignore it or respond with your thoughts on how happy the couple seems together.

• What if I don’t agree with same-sex marriage?

Everyone is entitled to his or her own beliefs — remember that when it comes to the couple, too. Even though you might not agree with certain choices they’ve made, if you love them, ideally you should support them regardless. But if you feel very strongly about it or are really uncomfortable about attending the service, opt to skip the ceremony and send a card with your best wishes.

As traditional as it may seem, wedding etiquette is based on loose guidelines. No matter who is tying the knot, the ceremony will be personal and unique. By affirming their partnership in front of friends and loved ones, a couple in a same-sex relationship is obviously happy with the choices they’ve made to get to this point. Just like them, be excited about what lies ahead.