As the population ages and lives longer, more people marry a second time. Since most have children from a previous marriage, disbursement of assets at death or divorce becomes a concern. Assets accumulated before marriage normally should be given to the children of the respective parent at the time of death or divorce.

The best way to avoid problems is to have everything agreed on before marriage. One of the most popular ways to solve this problem is a prenuptial agreement. It is a written agreement that should be prepared by an attorney familiar with estate law.

“Prenuptials agreements are no longer for just the Donald Trumps of the world,” said Richard Dombrow, a family-law specialist. “I honestly believe that one of the best things about any prenuptial is that it’s a reality check.”

There are several things to consider before writing your prenuptials. Are one or both of you coming into the marriage with a sizable number of assets, such as a home, a pension plan or stock portfolio? Does one or both own property with emotional value? If so, who will get it in case of death or divorce? These questions need to be answered before marriage.

Also it is important to create a prenuptial agreement that reflects equality in financial matters. This may save you pain and money later, and might even save your marriage.

As soon as the relationship starts to get serious, it is time to discuss financial concerns, expectations and responsibilities. Then as the relationship proceeds toward marriage, discussions should be open, honest, direct, and more detailed.

However, it is not a good idea to simply hand a prenuptial agreement to your fiance without prior discussion. This will make the person feel that he or she has no say in it and could be considered a “red flag” of possible control problems after marriage.