Fort Lauderdale ? Shaquille O’Neal took a pay cut for this?

You mean to tell me the Big Socialist gave back $25 million in future earnings just so Heat president Pat Riley could surround him with a couple of defense-optional, certifiable ball hogs in Antoine Walker and Jason Williams?

Which championship is Riley gunning for again, NBA or PlayStation 2?

If this were the great brainstorm, the Heat would have been better off letting Shaq keep his money and running out the same team that fell short by a few botched possessions of the NBA Finals two months ago.

Give Riley points for degree of difficulty in pulling off the largest trade in NBA history.

But just because he found a way to involve five teams and 13 players doesn’t automatically make this deal a masterstroke, as some media cheerleaders are portraying it.

How many basketballs do they play with again in the pros?

And what’s the over/under on Shaq eye-rolls per game this year? You know, when the ball doesn’t come his way on more than two straight trips down the court?

How about Dwyane Wade? What happens to his touches with these new guys on the scene?

As for Stan Van Gundy, how is the coach-until-further-notice supposed to keep this strange brew from boiling over? This goes way beyond Tweak and rolls nearly out to Overhaul.

So you didn’t like Eddie Jones? Thought he clutched up in the clutch a little too often? Found him too soft for a title contender? Found him vastly overpaid? Fine. Those are all valid points. And change is inevitable. Healthy even. But just wait until you get a load of the new guys.

You’ve heard of Big Shot Bob down in San Antonio? Meet 3-Jack ‘Toine. He never met a long-range shot he couldn’t take (and usually miss).

Riley raves about Walker’s size and versatility and promises he won’t have to be a “volume shooter” the way he’s been everywhere else. Van Gundy, straining credulity, calls Walker an “underrated defender.”

Walker tried to say all the right things at Thursday’s news conference, but he also sounded quite reluctant to chase small forwards on defense and admitted he hoped to be the third option on offense.

How long before he starts pumping up the volume?

And you’re ready to kick chatty vagabond Damon Jones to the curb after one dream season? Heat fans will be begging for the return of the Donkey after the first few times they see Williams throw wraparound passes into the fifth row.

Do the names Bobby Jackson and Earl Watson mean anything to you? Those were the workaday point guards the coaches in Sacramento and Memphis trusted more than Williams in the fourth stanza.

This is the fourth trade for Walker in the past 22 months. Williams has been traded twice, including the Mike Bibby deal in 2001 that transformed the Kings from curiosity to contender.

With Walker, the Celtics came within two wins of the Finals in 2002, but his teams have gone 1-3 in playoff series since. Williams is 1-5 in playoff series. When’s that PS2 tournament start again?