When her sister Lindsey got engaged last May, Corey Smith knew she would be maid of honor.

What she DIDN’T know was what that meant. Like many bridesmaids-to-be, Smith knew her title but was unsure of her actual job.

“The best thing I did was get online and find lists of maid- of-honor duties. They were pretty comprehensive,” she says.

In an age of monster weddings — and monster brides — many women dread being asked to join a wedding party. After all, you are probably never going to wear that dress again, and how many more brightly-dyed shoes can your closet handle? Unfortunately, those are only a few of the issues bridesmaids deal with when enlisted to don chiffon for a friend. The most common problems are generally money-related.

The average wedding today costs around $22,000, a price that sometimes includes a wedding planner. For those brides who choose to plan alone, though, the Internet often becomes their virtual coordinator. Web sites such as theknot.com and weddingchannel.com are full of advice for brides-to-be, but they also offer tips to other members of the wedding party.

Just ask Smith. When she went to her computer in search of a maid of honor how-to guide, she logged onto theknot.com, one of the Internet’s most comprehensive wedding resources.

“There are things you wouldn’t even consider,” she says. “All the technical things: bustling the gown, checking on the bouquets. You’re kind of in charge of the groomsmen.”

Spend, spend, spend

Lawrence wedding planner Carmen Hocking says conducting research is a good way to learn bridesmaid etiquette. Perhaps the most important thing for bridesmaids to know, Hocking says, is that they likely will have to pay for their dress, shoes and any other wedding wardrobe needs. She says most brides are sensitive to their attendants and consult them to set spending limits.

To help keep costs down, theknot.com suggests going with the bride when she picks out her dress and yours. Suggest a two-piece dress so sizes can be mixed and matched, eliminating alteration hassles. Or get your dresses off-the-rack. That way, everyone takes her dress home that day and, again, with no alterations necessary.

Despite the best planning and communication, Smith says she thinks there always will be some bridesmaid drama.

“Whenever you get a group of women together who all have different styles and different tastes, there are always going to be issues,” she says.

Hopefully, your input will keep you from spending big money on a dress you hate. But if you DO end up with a sea-foam green taffeta number, be sensitive. The bride obviously loves it, so try to keep your mouth shut.

Now that your mouth is shut, remember to keep your wallet open. Nobody said the job would be cheap, and it’s not. Theknot.com says to expect spending about $300, the average cost of today’s bridesmaid dress, and maybe a bit more for alterations. And don’t forget shoes; they average around $50.

Even after you’ve laid down all that cash for wedding necessities, you’re still expected to give gifts. Theknot.com suggests spending about $40 for the shower and $50 to $75 for the wedding. And be prepared if the maid of honor asks you to help cover costs for the shower and bachelorette party; this can be anywhere from $50 to $100.

All for the bride

After your wallet seems empty, be prepared to offer your time. Bridesmaids should be available to handle wedding-related jobs, such as addressing invitations, keeping RSVP lists, running errands and attending as many showers and parties as possible. And, at those showers, it’s the bridesmaids’ job to write down all the gifts and who gave them.

For Smith, the hardest part was figuring out how to help — but not too much.

“Lindsey was a very independent bride, so she did a lot of things on her own. I think mostly she just liked knowing we were there to support her,” she says. “But there were certainly times when she would say, ‘I need you guys to be helping me with this,’ or, ‘You need to be there for that.’ She really ruled the wedding party with an iron fist, so to speak.”

Hocking says bridesmaids need to arrive at the church the same time as the bride. And be prepared to run last minute errands on the wedding day — even if it’s a trip to a drive-thru to satisfy a bride’s last-minute cravings.

After the ceremony, theknot.com says bridesmaids should get the reception started by introducing guests, showing them to the bar and getting people on the dance floor.

Smith says bridesmaids should cater to the bride — 100 percent. So while she was bridesmaid, she did whatever the bride desired. Of course, Smith is still single and was setting the maid-of-honor precedent she knows her sister will have to follow.

“It’s always up to the bride,” she says. “If she says close-toe, satin, fuchsia shoes, that’s what you wear.”

Just remember to break them in first.