Dugny, France ? When 12-year-old Faten Ben Debaieb returned to school after summer vacation, she faced a painful choice: take off her head scarf or be expelled.

For France’s Muslim community, a similar dilemma loomed 2,500 miles away in Iraq. There, kidnappers were threatening to kill their two French hostages unless France lifted the scarf ban. For the French Muslims, the question was whether to stand by their opposition to the newly instituted ban or go along with it in solidarity with their government.

In the end, both went with the French flow: Faten shed her scarf, and the Muslim community sided with the government in resisting the kidnappers’ demand. It was a defining moment in a long and bitter dispute.

Worried by the rise of an alienated minority in its midst, France has over the past decade sought to coax into existence an “Islam of France” compatible with French values and Muslim beliefs. The scarf ban is an important step in this effort, and the stakes are high. With an estimated 5 million adherents — almost a tenth of the population — Islam is France’s second religion.

Three Muslim leaders — fondly dubbed “The Three Musketeers” by the media — traveled to Baghdad hoping to free the journalists. One of them represented the UOIF, the Union of Islamic Organizations of France, which is considered a springboard for Muslim fundamentalism and therefore is viewed with mistrust by French officialdom. But it holds enormous sway among religious conservatives.

The UOIF “wholly understood this was a crossroads and that they had to choose sides, and they did very clearly,” said Olivier Roy, a leading expert on Islam.

But the head-scarf wars aren’t over. “There will be other battles,” said Antoine Sfeir, another Islam expert. Colleges and hospitals are bracing to be next in line for bans.

The meeting of minds between the French government and Muslim leaders over the hostages produced a rare chapter of solidarity. But Muslims remain bitter about the scarf ban, and it is sure to be challenged in court.

“It hurts. It makes me sad,” Faten said. “It bothers me to show my hair like that.”

But she dreams of becoming a doctor, and didn’t want to sacrifice her education. So now she puts her scarf back on as soon as she leaves school.

Only 120 girls have defied the law since the school year got under way Sept. 2, according to Education Minister Francois Fillon. School authorities are quietly negotiating with them, officials said.

The insurgents holding Christian Chesnot and Georges Malbrunot perhaps hoped to drive a wedge between France and its large Muslim community. But instead Muslim leaders lined up behind the government.

The question now is “the fate of our countrymen, not a piece of cloth,” said Lhaj Thami Breze, president of UOIF.