No problem, child

Pastors, parents share strategies for keeping kids quiet in church

The Rev. Gary Teske doesn’t mind when children get fidgety and fussy and generally make a racket during worship services.

“Very, very seldom does it distract me. I started out my ministry with 10 years in New Guinea. Those open spaces, you often had people’s pigs wandering through. Once in a while, they’d wander through the worship area,” said Teske, lead pastor of Trinity Lutheran Church, 1245 N.H.

“People brought their dogs to services, and once in a while they’d square off. So having a child carry on a bit, it’s a normal noise of human activity that is always present when you have people together.”

Not everyone has Teske’s equanimity.

When people are trying to listen to a sermon or Scripture during worship services, the noise of a crying or distracted child is hardly a welcome diversion.

While some worshippers — and pastors like Teske — just ignore the interruption, others give the universal sign of displeasure by turning around and glaring at the child’s parents, wordlessly communicating, “Get that kid outta here.”

Children with short attention spans are just a part of worship services, as much as prayer books and hymns. That’s the reason many congregations take different steps to adapt to the situation, offering soundproof “cry rooms” in which parents can calm their child and still hear the service, or nurseries and crib rooms where trained staff can look after the little ones.

Some congregations employ ushers to gently remind parents of these options, or even encourage other members to offer to take a child off a parent’s hands for a while.

And even though children seem biologically designed to make noise during times meant for reverence and reflection, Lawrence religious leaders said they still wanted to send a message of inclusion to their faith communities.

Misbehaving children can often plague a congregation, prompting the addition of crying

“I would tell them (parents) that all God’s children are welcome in worship. We think it’s great that parents bring the whole family,” said the Rev. Peter Luckey, senior pastor, Plymouth Congregational Church, 925 Vt.

“Even if children are 1 or 2 and can’t get anything out of the sermon, they’re still part of that experience of being in worship together, hearing the music, saying the prayers. It’s a good habit to get into.”

Offer to help

Heartland Community Church, 619 Vt., has a number of strategies for coping with younger children who might be inclined to raise a ruckus.

Members are encouraged to take advantage of Sunday school and the church’s nursery, where children can be in an age-appropriate setting, allowing adults to learn and worship without distractions.

“We run announcement slides before the service starts, and with one of them, we ask people to turn off pagers and stuff and take their kids to Sunday school and the nursery. We don’t strictly enforce that, but we certainly make it plain for everybody,” said the Rev. Paul Gray, senior pastor.

“We also train our greeters and ushers. If there are new people, and we have lots of visitors, our greeters will always say, ‘We have this program for kids. Can we take you and introduce you to the teachers?'”

Heartland has a crib room for babies, and a nursery, staffed by parent volunteers and college students to take care of children during worship.

“In our nursery, we have a TV set with a direct feed from the service. Sometimes moms who are nursing their kids will go down there and they can actually watch and hear the service while they’re with their kids for a while,” Gray said.

The Rev. Bill Hurlbutt has encouraged members of Christ Community Church, 1100 Kasold Drive, to lend a hand to parents who have their hands full.

“What I’ve encouraged the congregation to do is that if we have people who come to visit that may not realize that we have programs for kids, and their kids are fidgety, someone will go up and offer to help them,” he said.

Crayons and paper — or a bottle

The job of baby-sitting children at Plymouth Congregational Church usually falls to Janet Whitenight. She’s worked in the nursery during worship services for the past 28 years.

“Chase children, change diapers — whatever’s necessary. I have the very youngest, as young as two days. A mother gave birth on a Friday and was in church on Sunday,” said Whitenight, who’s also a longtime cook at Hilltop Child Development Center, 1314 Jayhawk Blvd.

She advised that parents should pay attention to obvious cues around them that indicate it’s time to take children out of services.

“When the minister starts giving them a dirty look, that’s a good idea. If the children are talking to somebody behind you, or if they’re shrieking, that’s a good time,” Whitenight said.

She drew on her years of experience to offer parents a few tips on how to keep children occupied during worship.

“Usually crayons and paper are a good idea. With the very, very young, it’s difficult. If a bottle won’t do it, there’s not much else you can do to keep them quiet. The older ones will sit there and scribble for awhile,” she said.

“Bring books, or some kind of a silent toy. But it can’t be something that makes music or rattles. That won’t work in church.”

Jean Pfeifer has become well acquainted with supervising youngsters in church. She and her husband, John, have four children: Jacob, 11; Clayton, 8; Reed, 4; and Jack, 2 months.

The family attends worship at St. John the Evangelist Catholic Church, 1234 Ky. The Pfeifers go to Mass at different times on Sundays, with all the children in tow.

“Actually, people say (after services), ‘They were good,’ and I’m thinking, ‘They were?'” Jean said.

Aside from the occasional slouching in the pews, or putting a foot on the kneeler, her children usually behave like little angels.

“You might have to whisper in their ear, ‘You need to stop doing that.’ It usually works. Don’t ask me how — grace of God,” she said, laughing.