Q: I have a very fussy 8-month-old baby who cries whenever I put her down. My pediatrician says she is healthy and that she cries just because she wants me to hold her all the time. I do give her a lot of attention, but I simply can’t keep her on my lap all day long. How can I make her less fussy?

A:The crying of infants is an important form of communication. Through their tears we learn of their hunger, fatigue, discomfort or diaper disaster. Thus it is important to listen to those calls for help and interpret them accordingly.

On the other hand, your pediatrician is right. It is possible to create a fussy, demanding baby by rushing to pick her up every time she utters a whimper or sigh. Infants are fully capable of learning to manipulate their parents through a process called reinforcement, whereby any behavior that produces a pleasant result will tend to recur. A healthy baby can keep her mother hopping around her nursery 12 hours a day (or night) simply by forcing air past her sandpaper larynx.

To avoid this consequence, it is important to strike a balance between giving your baby the attention she needs and establishing her as a tiny dictator. Don’t be afraid to let her cry for a reasonable period of time (which is thought to be healthy for the lungs), although it is necessary to listen to the tone of her voice for the difference between random discontent and genuine distress. Most mothers learn to recognize this distinction very quickly.

When my daughter was 1 year old, I used to stand out of sight at the doorway of her nursery for four or five minutes, awaiting a momentary lull in the crying before going to pick her up. By so doing, I reinforced the pauses rather than the tears. You might try the same approach.

Q: I hear so much about children who have ADD. Can you describe this problem for me and tell me how I might recognize it in my son?

A: The term ADD stands for “attention deficit disorder,” which is an inherited neurological syndrome that affects approximately 5 percent of children in the United States. It refers to individuals who are easily distracted, have a low tolerance for boredom or frustration, and tend to be impulsive and flighty. Some of them are also hyperactive, and hence they are said to have ADHD (attention deficit hyperactive disorder).

Children with ADD have a pattern of behavior that sets them up for failure in school and conflict with their parents. They have difficulty finishing tasks, remembering details, focusing on a book or assignment, or even remaining seated for more than a few minutes. Some appear to be driven from within as they race wildly from one thing to another. They are often very bright and creative, yet they’re seen as lazy, disruptive and terribly disorganized.

ADD children often suffer from low self-esteem because they have been berated as “goof-offs” and anarchists who refuse to follow the rules. They sometimes have few friends because they can drive everyone crazy — even those their own age.

As for how you can recognize such a child in your home, it is unwise for a parent to attempt to do so. There are many other problems, both psychological and physical, that can cause the similar symptoms. Disorders of the thyroid, for example, can make a child hyperactive or sluggish; depression and anxiety can cause the distractibility associated with ADD. Therefore, you must have assistance from a physician, a child developmentalist or a psychologist who can confirm the diagnosis.

If you see the symptoms I’ve described in your child, I urge you to have him or her seen professionally. Again, you should not try to diagnose your child. The sooner you can get that youngster in to see a person who specializes in this disorder, the better.

James Dobson is chairman of the board for Focus on the Family, a nonprofit organization dedicated to the preservation of the home.