A teenager really wants to go to a party but she's sure her mom won't let her go, so she and her friends concoct a false cover story.
And if she's asked whether she's finished her homework or cleaned her room, she's prone to lie.
What's the big deal? After all, most kids lie to their parents from time to time and their parents probably lied lots of times to their parents. Despite rhetoric about virtue being its own reward, a great many adults -- and a higher proportion of kids -- are more likely to make their choices based on a calculation of risks and benefits rather than on moral principle. And since young people are particularly susceptible to choices that indulge impulses and favor immediate needs and wants, we need to teach them how bad choices made to gratify an immediate impulse can sabotage their most important relationships and impede their important life objectives.
Every dishonest act has at least two potential consequences: the actual penalty and the loss of trust. The second is by far the more important and the more underestimated. This is especially true in parent-child relationships. Where trust is important, there are no little lies. When parents aren't sure they can believe their children every time, the cords of control will be tighter and held longer. The price of lying is losing freedom.
It's often difficult to predict how a decision today will affect tomorrow, but dishonesty often has a lasting negative impact on relationships and reputations as well as self-image and character.
Thus, from both a moral and practical perspective, honesty really is the best policy.
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