Do you think it is healthy for a husband and wife to work together, and to be in each other’s company 24 hours a day?

That sometimes works out fine. It depends on the couple. I can tell you, however, what is typical. According to behavioral researchers, the healthiest marriages and those with the highest sexual voltage are those that “breathe.” These relationships move from a time of closeness and tenderness to a more distant posture, and then come together for another reunion as the cycle concludes.

This is why it’s not always advantageous for a husband and wife to work together or to concentrate exclusively on each other in the absence of friends and colleagues outside the family. There is something about the diversity of interests and activities by each partner that keeps a couple from consuming each other and burning out the relationship in the short run.

Marriage is, after all, a marathon and not a sprint. Husbands and wives need to maintain a regenerating system that will keep love alive for a lifetime. Cultivating a healthy interest in many things is one big step in that direction.

You often describe marriages where the wife’s emotional needs go unmet because the husband is a “workaholic.” That description is scary to me because I can see my own marriage in what you said. I’m a student who has to work full time just to make ends meet, and I rarely see my family. We have a baby and a toddler, and my wife is pretty unhappy with me. What can I do? If I’m going to get my degree, we have to sacrifice for a while.

Your self-discipline is admirable, and I hope you reach your goals. A word of caution is in order, however. No amount of success is worth the loss of your family. You and your wife are in a high-risk category for marital problems. The bonding that should occur in the first decade requires time together — time that can’t be given if it is absorbed elsewhere. My advice is to hold on to your dreams, but take a little longer to fulfill them. Success will wait but a happy family will not.

What do you say to the woman who tolerates infidelity in her husband because she has no financial resources? What if she is afraid to confront him because he could leave her in poverty?

I have no simple answers for her. Life can place us between rocks and hard places where problems seem almost unsolvable. Such is the plight of mothers raising children with little or no financial help from their ex-husbands. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, this is the primary source of poverty in America today. Almost half of all people living below the poverty line are divorced women with children. The same survey revealed that half of the divorced mothers do not receive the court-ordered amount of child support from the ex-husbands.

I’m pleased that the federal government is taking steps, at last, to deal with “deadbeat dads.” It’s about time! In a society that is regulated to death with laws and ordinances for virtually every human activity, it has taken us intolerably long to deal with parents who won’t care for their kids. For now, impoverished moms are faced with extremely difficult questions when spousal infidelity is disclosed.

My husband and I are divorced, so I have to handle all the discipline of the children myself. How does this change the recommendations you’ve made about discipline in the home?

Not at all. The principles of good discipline remain the same, regardless of the family setting. The procedures do become somewhat harder for one parent to implement since they have no one to support them when the children become testy. Single mothers and fathers have to play both roles, which is not easily done. Nevertheless, children do not make allowances for difficult circumstances. Parents must earn their respect or they will not receive it.