Recently, I had the chance to hear Harvard scholar and author George Vaillant speak about his more than 30 years studying the aging process.

One of the things he said — striking, maybe, for its simplicity — is that in old age, we can’t worry about being important in the way the world defines importance.

“Get the word ‘work’ out of your vocabulary and learn to play,” he said at Akron General Medical Center. “After the gold watch, what you need to do is pay attention to your fourth-grade grandchildren. They have self-esteem without contributing to the GNP.”

So it’s a matter of coming full cycle. Just learn to play again.

The trouble, of course, is that by the time you’ve got the gold watch, you’ve been hit in the nose by at least a few of life’s blows. Certain things haven’t gone right, there have been trials, it has been a long time since you felt as carefree as your grandchild in fourth grade.

Vaillant surely knows that. However, his message is that there is a lot we can do to determine our individual quality of life in old age.

As a person steeped in research, Vaillant is saying that while our genes are important, so are our personal habits and behaviors. Some things are fundamental. We should exercise, eat well, not smoke and not abuse alcohol.

In addition, there are other significant factors that don’t get as much attention. Mature coping skills, for example, are valuable throughout life because they determine how you deal with stress.

Other findings of his research: Good health before 50 is a good indicator of health in old age. A good marriage before 50 not only predicts physical health in old age, but also good mental health. Those with higher education levels tend to live longer. While cholesterol and weight control are big issues in the 40-to-50 age group, there are added issues for those between 70 to 80. Having a social support system is greatly important in old age. It’s also important to maintain an ability to enrich the lives of others.

After his presentation, it was interesting to hear the reaction of Alan Gilbertson, moderator of the program and chief of psychology at Akron General.

Nothing surprising, he said, and all in the realm of good sense. In other words: a voice of authority to tell us what we know but maybe need to remind ourselves of now and then.