A very merry Multiplex

Cinematic packages ready for opening

Christmas day is usually represented by a number of traditions. Stockings hung over the fireplace. Presents unwrapped under the tree. Bing Crosby crooning on the stereo.

Chestnuts roasting. Marshmallows toasting. Figgy pudding being eaten or soaked in or whatever.

You understand the drill.

But I know a lot of families whose Christmas day tradition includes heading out to the multiplex/art house and seeing a movie. That’s why Dec. 25 is considered one of the biggest box-office dates of the year.

So here is a rundown of the national releases that are opening in Lawrence between now and Christmas. Lights, camera, ho-ho-ho …

Today

Flight of the Phoenix

After exposure to films such as “The Stepford Wives,” “Alfie,” “The Ladykillers” and “The Manchurian Candidate,” the adventure “Flight of the Phoenix” stands as the year’s final remake. Similar to the respectable 1965 flick starring Jimmy Stewart — except featuring far more male models and rappers — the story follows a group that tries to rebuild a military cargo plane after a crash strands the survivors in the Gobi desert. Sandstorms and nomadic bandits thwart the process.

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events

“Mishaps. Mayhem. Misadventures. Oh joy.” Jim Carrey tries to rob a resourceful trio of orphans from their family inheritance in the adaptation of Daniel Handler’s popular children’s novels. (See today’s review.)

Spanglish

No habla Ingles? No problem. This bilingual effort is equally divided between comedy and tearjerker. Despite his big goofy grin on the film’s poster, Adam Sandler takes more of a supporting role in the tale of a maid and her daughter who move into the beach house of a dysfunctional Beverly Hills couple. (See today’s review on page 8E.)

Wednesday

Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera

What took so long to bring this popular musical to the screen? The project had the green light in 1990 and cast with Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman, the original stars of the stage version. But prior to production, writer Andrew Lloyd Webber divorced Brightman and “Phantom” was shelved. Fourteen years later, hack director Joel Schumacher (“Batman & Robin”) takes over the reins, with Scottish action hero Gerard Butler (“Timeline”) in the lead. To quote the title track’s lyrics: “Beware the Phantom of the Opera.”

Meet the Fockers

In this era of conservative moralizing, you have to appreciate a studio for releasing a film with this title. I thought months ago it would have changed to “Meet the Parents 2.” Actor Ben Stiller may have worn out his welcome by overexposing himself with six movies this year, yet most folks are still eager to see him as Gaylord “Greg” Focker in this culture-clash sequel. This time the Byrnes family (Robert De Niro and Blythe Danner) travel to Miami to meet Greg’s parents (Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand). How refreshing to see Streisand return to her first true comedy since 1971’s hilarious “What’s Up, Doc?”

Dec. 25

The Aviator

It takes chutzpah to make a film about eccentric billionaire Howard Hughes and not dwell on his drug-dependent, reclusive demise. But filmmaker Martin Scorsese (“Gangs of New York”) does just that, focusing on the early years of Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio), from the 1930 production of “Hell’s Angels” to the 1947 flight of the Spruce Goose. If the thought of seeing Cate Blanchett as Katharine Hepburn isn’t intriguing enough, then how about No Doubt singer Gwen Stefani as fellow platinum blond Jean Harlow?

Darkness

Nothing says Christmastime like a horror movie about children being abducted by ghostly forces. But in a bid for cinematic counter programming, Dimension Films is finally dusting off this 2-year-old effort in hopes of “Grudge”-like box office. Anna Paquin portrays a teen whose family moves into a creepy old house in the Spanish countryside. Soon her little brother (Stephan Enquist) is haunted by images of kids in school uniforms while her father (Iain Glen) battles psychosis. Maybe nobody will remember how last year’s “Darkness Falls” fared.

Fat Albert

It’s poetic justice that comedian Kenan Thompson kicked off his career on “Saturday Night Live” by doing an impression of Bill Cosby. Now the 26-year-old actor leads Mushmouth, Rudy, Dumb Donald and Weird Harold as the animated band comes to life in its inner-city Philadelphia neighborhood. Cosby co-wrote the script and stars as himself. One problem though: Thompson sure isn’t very fat. Too bad that guy from “The Biggest Loser” can’t act.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou

I’ve often wondered if filmmaker Wes Anderson (“The Royal Tenenbaums”) first thinks up a title then writes a movie around it. The indie artist continues his streak of oddball character comedies with a tale of a famous oceanographer (Bill Murray) and his quest to hunt down the “Jaguar Shark” that ate his seafaring partner. Anderson again casts his former University of Texas classmate Owen Wilson, who portrays a pilot (for Air Kentucky) who joins Team Zissou because he believes Murray is his biological father. With the group assembled, Murray declares, “I will fight it, but I won’t kill it. Now, what about my dynamite?”