A lot of people feel that presidential contests have become nothing more than a game. Now, thanks to the savvy folks at Ubisoft and Stardock Entertainment, the presidential race really is a game, one that anyone can play.

“The Political Machine” allows you to run the campaigns of George W. Bush, John Kerry, or another candidate of your choosing in a computer simulation of the tumultuous 2004 election season. It gives you complete control of your chosen candidate’s campaign as you send him from state to state making speeches, raising money, and dealing with the media jackals.

The game also allows you to wade knee-deep into the seamy underbelly of the political world. You can employ behind-the-scenes characters like “The Money Man” to fatten your war chest and “Scandal Monger” to take cheap shots at your opponent.

I’d like to get a copy of this simulation because it would allow me to run a campaign for the kind of presidential candidate I’ve always longed for but the current political climate will never produce.

The candidate I create will give America the tough love it so desperately needs. Here are a few planks from my straight-talking fictional candidate’s platform:

Homeland Security/Civil Liberties: Let’s face it — we’re all afraid of terrorists. But our government should not use the current frightening world climate as an excuse to trample all over our personal freedoms. My candidate will not support laws that allow the government to intrude on the lives of American citizens unless there is evidence of criminal wrongdoing, and he will not support giving the government the power to detain citizens indefinitely without charging them with a crime.

Iraq: Historically, imperialism has a dismal success rate over the long term, and there’s no reason to think that it’s going to work out well for us in Iraq. We need to establish some modicum of stability in that country and then get the heck out of there. We cannot dictate their future, and we cannot force democracy on them if they are not inclined to choose that path.

Energy Policy: Some of our most serious problems (pollution, dependence on foreign sources, the mess in the Middle East) are tied to our vast over-consumption of fossil fuels. That needs to change. My candidate will immediately enact tough new fuel economy requirements on ALL vehicles and slap a fat consumption tax on road-hogging, gas-guzzling, mega-polluting SUVs. And the government will throw its full support behind a nationwide initiative to move towards increasing the use of clean, renewable energy sources.

The National Debt: The days of spending money like a drunken sailor must come to an end, immediately. There will be spending cuts, and there will most likely be tax increases, and it’s not going to be much fun for anyone. But one way or another, the budget will not only be balanced, it will run a yearly surplus until such time as the overall debt is brought down to a manageable level.

Once I’ve laid out these tough love, common sense proposals to the American people, my candidate will introduce his foot to the backside of “The Money Man” and “Scandal Monger” because he is going to play the game straight up. He will put all his chips on the wisdom and discretion of the American People and eschew the attack ads and the empty, backside-kissing campaign drivel.

Then, on election night, I will sit back and watch my candidate draw numbers that will make Walter Mondale feel much better about how he did against Ronald Reagan in 1984.

— Bill Ferguson is a columnist for the Macon (Ga.) Telegraph. His e-mail address is fergcolumn@hotmail.com