Athens, Greece ? As Paul Hamm now knows, here’s the alpha and the omega of modern Olympic etiquette: They can act like idiots, and we can’t.

They can say, as Greece’s Halkia Fani did after winning the 400-meter hurdles: “Greeks were born to be winners. They are born to be first. It is inscribed in our cells. It is the best gift our ancestors bequeathed upon us.”

But if Michael Phelps says that about Americans, we’re all stupid and arrogant.

They can cry about referees and trivial timeouts, as Spain did, or take their shirts and prance around the court in celebration before game’s end, as Argentina did, against the U.S. men’s basketball team. But if Larry Brown and Allen Iverson ever said or did those same things, we’re all loud and obnoxious.

They can whoop and holler and (a) hold up a race for seven minutes, as Greek fans did before the 200 meters to protest the drug-suspension of a Greek athlete, (b) strike bicep-bulging Mr. Universe poses after winning, like the South African men’s swim relay team, and (c) push their country’s jersey to the cameras, mugging in celebration, as Carlos Arroyo did after Puerto Rico’s basketball team defeated the United States.

But when American sprinters act out in similar fashion, a foreign reporter stands up in the daily IOC news conference and demands to know, “after their behavior if the Americans are going to be drug-tested.”

And now they expect our gymnast to give back his medal?

Are you kidding me? Give it back? Because the judges screwed up? Are you telling me that gymnastics officials would have told a Ukrainian or Slovenian or, well, a South Korean gymnast to return a gold medal if the athlete had done nothing wrong and it had been awarded? Is anyone drug-testing gymnastics officials?

Look, there are plenty of ways the aftermath of Hamm’s controversial all-around gold could have played out. He won because the judges incorrectly began subtracting South Korean gymnast Yang Tae-young’s score on the parallel bars from a “start value” of 9.9 instead of the 10 it was supposed to be. South Korean coaches didn’t have it changed immediately after the skill as required, either.

So Hamm could have kept the gold — which he did. He could have exchanged the gold for silver — if he wanted. He could have lobbied that Yang should be awarded a second gold, which would have been the right gesture, the magnanimous touch and exactly what Hamm should and didn’t do.

Hamm acted like Midas. He said the gold was all his.

“I’m the winner,” he said.

You can disagree with how he handled that bit. But you can’t disagree with the fact it’s his right to handle it how he wants.

Everyone knows the rules are different for Goliath. That’s how the United States is viewed at the Olympics, with good and obvious reason. And to its credit the USOC met with athletes before the Games and asked them to watch their behavior. To the athletes’ credit, almost all have.

But right is right, and enough’s enough. It’s too much in this Hamm case. American athletes and coaches being held to a standard of conduct different from the rest of the world? It’s not fair. But it probably comes with the territory of being the biggest and winningest.

But ask an athlete to return a gold medal to cover for official incompetence?

This does the Olympic impossible. This makes figure-skating officials look smart by comparison.